I just kinda feel like talking about this... ig its a vent whatever. Sooo as I've mentioned before, 7th grade was an extremely hard year for me. There were a ton of reasons for this, the only relevant one being that this new girl came into my class. Before I say anything more, I'll give some context. First off, currently I am about to have my last day of 9th grade (first year of high school oof) on friday, so its been like almost 3 years since this whole thing started. Another thing, the school I went to for 7th and 8th grade (the only grades relevant to the story) was extremely small and it was a private school, so there was none of that class switching sh- I mean stuff- every year where you get thrown in with like 18 new people each year. No, if you joined that school in pre-k, you'd be stuck with the exact same class all the way to 8th grade. Context, I joined that school at 6th grade. Anyway, so I had a best friend in 6th grade and we intended to stay friends in 7th as well. (continued)

So back to what I was saying, this new girl came in 7th grade and uh sooner or later she basically stole my best friend. We are going to refer to the new girl as "manipulative girl" or something. Yeah you can already see where this is going. Manipulative girl came into her first day in the class and basically walked out with my best friend. So I was kinda like smh what the muffin did you just do- to sum it up, that year was the year of Mass Amounts of Drama. 8th grade was pretty chill, I mean we kinda became a threesome (well quartet if you count our other friend, who for this story is irrelevant) but as expected there were definitely some times where I was the third wheel, everything platonic of course, and that hurt. But the thing I really wanted to say is... I mean the other three I've stopped contacting, and frankly I don't miss them at all, but there are just some times... idk.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mc-v9NPveU4 I remember this one day that me and Manipulative girl were sitting together in some class, i don't even remember now, but she pulled up this song. Of course, she didn't offer to lend me the other earbud but from that point on it became our little inside joke that whenever we were around each other we'd watch this music video... And I kinda miss that. Like, what's running through my head now is that Oh, dude isn't like real deal manipulation and stuff this hard to go through? Like you hate the person and stuff but you kinda wish they were there too? This may be a bad joke but I fit in right with the growing pile of "manipulated minors" in the dsmp storyline lmao. Okay, like my situation wasn't actually that bad, there were a lot of lies and stuff, some worse than others, some through text and pretending to be other people just to manipulate the other (bet you can guess who did that to me -_-), that stuff. (continued)

(there's a deleted comment because I rephrased something btw)

And don't get me wrong, its not like I'm constantly thinking about Manipulative Girl or anything like missing her too much, or even missing any of them too much. While they could be absolutely amazing friends to me at times, I never felt like we'd all be long term friends. Like once upon a time I thought me and my best friend might have been you know "friends to the end" and that stuff but I'm kinda glad I left her on read a few weeks ago- wait that sounds so toxic pls XD ... But like I'm through all of this and not actively "suffering" from it if that's the way you want to put it, but its just these times like this, you know? The times where you suddenly remember such a good memory. Where you finally listen to the song you've seen for years but never heard. The time where there's no one to watch the video with you and reminisce about the little peaceful moment you shared while in the middle of the storm. Call me a poet, but for now it is 2am and I'm exhausted. I don't want to wake up late, ey?

(ah yes, what I called poetry at 2:30 am. The writer inside me is dying because of how not smooth that ending is lmao but I'm gonna leave it because it sounded good to the me I was a few minutes ago lol)