People tell me to not let it get to me, just push it away or keep it inside. But...isn't bottling up my emotions what started all of this? What drove me past madness? Isn't that how this all happened and you want me to just keep doing it? I mean, I can't think of anything better to do so of course I'm going to do it, but since I'm doing this and going through this and you aren't don't I get a say before you make me do anything? Clearly not because you are still moving me in this direction when I want to go down this road, making me this when I want to be that, and then telling me I'm the problem? Things like this are why I can't be open which you seem to not understand. I don't have to do what you want me to, but I choose to. Do not forget that. You do not control my mental state and I can just cave in right now but instead I fight because I don't want to see you sad or disappointed. I do all of this because of you and you seem to let that go to your perfect head. Well, I'm sick of fighting over this.