I JUST WANNA BE ANGRY CUZ IVE BEEN WORKING MY ASS OFF THE PAST FEW DAYS AND NO ONE EVER APPRECIATES MY WORK IM NEVER GOOD ENOUGH ID LIKE FOR ONCE TO NOT BE MADE FUN OF AND COMPARED TO EVERYONE ELSE I ALWAYS GIVE SO DAMN MUCH TO PEOPLE BUT I NEVER GET ANYTHING BACK AND IM SO TIRED OF IT HOW MUCH DO I HAVE TO GIVE BEFORE I GET SOMETHING FOR A CHANGE HOW MANY COMPLIMENTS DO I HAVE TO GIVE BEFORE I GET ONE HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO STARE INTO THE DARK VOID BEFORE IM FINALLY ASKED WHATS WRONG BUT SUREEE LETS JUST ALWAYS TALK ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE CAUSE I MEAN WHEN HAVE I EVER WANTED ATTENTION IM JUST THE WEIRD SHY KID WHO NEVER TALKS AND DRAWS IN CLASS ALL THE TIME WHO CARES ABOUT HOW HARD I WORK OR HOW PASSIONATE I AM LETS ALWAYS BULLY ME UNTIL YOU CAN ASK ME FOR SOMETHING CAUSE IT ALWAYS HAS TO BE ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE

I NEVER WIN AND I NEVER GET PRAISED PEOPLE JUST TAKE MY SHIT AND THEY'RE NEVER SATISFIED IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW GOOD I ACTUALLY AM, I'LL NEVER WIN WHY IS SIT THAT EVERYONE ELSE ALWAYS GETS REWARDED BUT I NEVER DO??? AM I MISSING SOMETHING?? AM I DOING SOMETHING WRONG??? AM I JUST A JOKE???? IF SO THEN I WANT TO KNOW BECAUSE IF ALL IT TAKES IS TO LAUGH ALONG THEN ILL DO IT

MAYBE NO ONE CARES ABOUT WHAT I FEEL BUT RIGHT NOW I CAN FEEL IT THE HATRED BURNING IN MY BONES THE BLOOD RUSHING IN MY VEINS LIKE HOT LAVA I WANT TO SEE EVERYONE AROUND ME FALL FOR A MOMENT AND FEEL JUST AS ISOLATED AS I DO

I WANNA SCREAM SO EVERYONE WILL LOOK AT ME AND THINK, FOR AT LEAST A MOMENT "god, what the hell is wrong with that person?" "i wonder what happened to bring them to this point." "what brought them over the edge?"

maybe i wont be able to sell my art or go to art school. maybe they'll look at my portfolio and say "nah, this is shit" like the dummies at scholastics did. but i all i really want is for one moment... for a person to look me dead in the eyes and say, absolutely genuine, "you're so talented." and that's it. i don't need a prize. i don't need an award. nothing. nothing. nothing would be more rewarding to me than a heartfelt compliment. someone who actually appreciates me. someone who truly loves my work.

people always look at everyone else's art and grovel. the artists who have never suffered for their art. i create all day. when i can, physically. when i can't, in my dreams. for 7 years. my mind never rests. my hands always move. i cry into my art. i laugh into my art. i scream in mortal pain and suffering into my art. but the noise? it never echoes back into the ears of those who look at it. someone sees graphite scratched on paper? i see the moments, the thoughts, the feelings that came and went. in every line i want someone to see it too. my suffering. my wanting. my hope.

thank you ^^

daww thanks bestie :') <33