how are ya feeling

aw man, well I hope you feel better.

errr if I were to be honest, I'm doing my absolute worse lately. I am not allowed to have knife or pills. And my brain hates me. Because I'm too scared to ask from help my sister is monitoring me almost all the time and randomly checks my room. She's a good sister.

but other than that and other family issues and and worrying about my friends, I'm fine.

I don't trust councilors. I have a reason for that. My friends also cause my suffering rather it be intentional or not.

Well for the councilors, my grandma is one and my gosh is she the must judgmental thing I met. She ruins my self-esteem almost all the time. I can't be near her but then she gets upset when I avoid her. The councilors thing also comes from countless times of being ignored by them. And once I put the situation in my own hands, then they want to pay attention. They are unreliable and I don't know what they're getting paid for.

Friends, well they are all sad bois. And me having a savior complex helps no one. Ah and I hate when they tell me to stop worrying about them when I actively know that they tried to kill themselves twice. And it's not like it's just one friend. I'm at risk of losing multiple because of the same ****ing thing. Then there is home life-

that sucks man. Like I said they suck at their job.