I just wanna cut my body up, I want to not feel like a pig everytime I look at food. I don't wanna feel like I have to cut myself open to get people's approval, I just don't want to look at myself in the mirror and know I'm gonna have to live another day. I don't want to let myself eat. I want to slash open my chest and belly. I wish I had slit my throat open when I held that blade to my neck. I wish I had the ****ing courage to just destroy my body with cuts. I wish I could have plunged that steak knife into my stomach when I held it there. I wish I just gut myself.

I wish my friend never went through what they did over that stupid ****ing pedo. I wish I just did what he asked me to do so that they wouldn't have had to do it. I wish I could just cut my wrist open and watch the blood flow out.