okay so I live with my mom, dad, and younger brother. My dads 8, which makes him 4 years younger than me. My parents are in their 40s.

after my brother was born, that's when everything got really shitty. Me and my brother are autistic, but I'm high functioning and he's extremely low-functioning. My mom calls herself an "autism mom" and my dad stays the hell away from our mental health.

on the topic of mental health, I had been experiencing symptoms of psychosis. (Hallucinations and Disorganized speech) and both my mom and dad said it was a gift and nothing else. This led me to have delusions and not be able to seperate reality from psychosis.

I only learned about psychosis when I was 11. Now, how did my parents (40) have no clue about psychosis? kind of odd. when my brother was around 5-7 he was choked, hit, and pushed my brother along with yelling and verbally abusing him. Multiple times he ran to our mom, crying out of pain, anger and/or fear.

I had witnessed all of this, making me have terrible nightmares, physical hallucinations (being choked, having hands touch me, ect.) and panic attacks. at around 10 yrs old, I was extremely suicidal, I also had Anorexia that nobody knew about. I was depressed, and my dad started to verbally abuse me which made everything worse.

he made fun of my appearance, the things I would do to my brother (break his sunglasses, yell at him, etc.) even though I did it because my brother would beat the shit out of me.

the physical abuse stopped around the time my brother turned seven. Now, my brother and I used to have lots of meltdowns. My dad would handle it by yelling and getting furious. My mom would also handle it by yelling or ignoring it.

this made me have panic attacks whenever I heard loud noises or someone got angry. Any time the idea that what me and my brother were going through might be abuse, I got upset at myself for ever thinking that. It's not abuse, It's just me overreacting. of course, that was wrong. I learned that a few months ago, a year or so after I learned that I had psychosis and needed help. I was in a program that was working to diagnose me, so they asked me questions about everything. Including, the abuse me and my brother had went through.

they told my mom about it, and she said she had no memory of witnessing the physical abuse, and if she did, she would've divorced our dad. Hmm, that's strange. Didn't my brother run to my mom with bruises and hand marks from my dad? How could she forget that?

I had to tell my mom what happened so she could text all the details to them, but I made things less bad for the sake of my dad not getting possibly arrested.

they didn't have to report him to the cops, and to this day I'm having to deal with my brothers meltdowns, the verbal abuse, and all the shit. I'm twelve, It's a while until I can move out so I have no choice but to deal with it. If you've witnessed/been through abuse of any form, please report it. Your experiences are valid.

my brothers eight

i accidentally said my dad ggggg