She never loved me. she only used me to get closer to my friend so she could cheat on me. I'm so blind. I'm so hurt. poor me. why me? what did I do to deserve no proper love? am I too mean to everyone? should I be nicer? am I ugly? am I just not good enough? is it because I'm fat? I look like a hog. everyone is embarrassed just to be friends with me. after all, skinny is a beauty privilege. nobody likes fat people. I can't even look at myself without feeling disgust and hate towards myself. maybe I should just stop. just stop doing whatever I do and rot in my own bed till I feel skinny enough to go out and date whoever gives me just a ounce of affection.