Vent
9 comments
Creature[OP]
22.09.2021 08:08
LinkCreature[OP]
22.09.2021 08:11
LinkI've been scratching at myself whenever I get stressed/angry/or upset with myself. A boy I liked got a girlfriend and for days I had thoughts about stabbing myself in the stomach. The scratching's been going on for months (not sure how many) and I don't know what to do, for a long time I ave been wondering if I'm depressed, but then didn't want to say that to my parents, and didn't want to self diagnose, so I keep shrugging it off, but people around me recently have been showing concern and I'm not sure what's wrong with me.
Creature[OP]
22.09.2021 08:14
LinkAlso fun thing, I have ADHD and in the last two years have been seeing so many people in real life who also have it, and their not in any special easier classes, yet all my classes except my elective one have two teachers for extra help AND I have a IEP, I swear it just, makes me feel so dumb. Before I thought "oh I get all this extra help because of my ADHD, it's fine" but a lot of people with ADHD are doing way better and deal with it better and it makes me feel so dumb and just, incapable?
Creature[OP]
22.09.2021 08:17
LinkAnd back in middle school you'd see a couple or two every now and then, but now in high school their EVERYWHERE you look.. And it just makes me feel.. so lonely and useless.. I legit feel sick and just, wanna kill myself seeing how happy they are together and how lonely I am.. I don't know I'm probably just being dumb but, just wanted to get this out.
Creature[OP]
22.09.2021 08:18
LinkWow before I even finish typing someone sees it titled vent and likes it because they enjoy my pain because I'm that terrible,, cool.
Creature[OP]
22.09.2021 08:20
LinkAlso I'm on a antidepressant for anxiety which my Mom thinks is causing or worsening my self harm amount, but I eventually told her that I was scratching myself before I even started it and she said she didn't notice and I explained to her that it was just slowly getting worse..
Creature[OP]
22.09.2021 08:22
LinkWas searching a bunch of stuff about suicide recently on my school device and my Mom rushes me to the door and there was a police officer, they asked questions and brought a group of people from an ambulance. they legit asked my Mom if she wanted to keep me at home or bring me in to get "checked on" and my mom said "if they think your a harm to yourself or others, they can keep you away from others against your will" legit am scared now..-
Creature[OP]
22.09.2021 08:24
Linkluckily she let me stay home with her,, it all felt so unreal and like a fever dream, the police and my parents hugging me with concern about it and mentioning a lot lately.. I'm just.. I'm so used to shrugging my sadness and depression off that it feels unreal people knowing about it I guess.
Hey. I may not have had your experiences, nor ever WILL, but I know how it feels to harm myself. And I know it's not the answer. Harming yourself hurts both physically and emotionally. Just be glad your parents/parent care, and you actually have help for it. Yes, while shrugging it off may SEEM like a good idea, it'll just make you worse. Believe me, I have first-hand experience. But just know, as long as people care about you and want to see you safe, you truly have a life worth living. You're much luckier than I am, know that. At least your mom didn't think your depression was fake or anything.