I tried to be .ore co fident today in school and now I sit beside that ***** in my maths class and I can tell she hates me and I've been being nice to her but she didnt answer me she didnt hand me anything the teacher told us to I can tell when I'm beside her she just looks pissed I also got my maths test back and I dont even wanna ****ing say the percent because my parents told me to try more and I did but since I'm a disappointment i would never get a good grade as everyone else and when she told me to try harder it made me feel like a failure it sound stupid but like I'm known to be super sensitive when it comes to graxes and ugh i just wanna throw myself in a fire

and me being more confident today was just,,, I regret it I've been saying things in a more fearless way like I'm not afraid to share my opinion but it was horrible I'd rather say nothing than say anything at all cause I feel like everyones gonna get mad at me and intimidate me and make me feel awkward and I hate all those feelings I really hate it

I cried in a stall once because I tripped someone over and even back in primary I've lacked confidence school just increases my anxiety and stress I just hate it so much and I talk to less people and eventually thats how I got here, I have no other good friends except my group at school but I'm not too close with them as much