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by:
Grapefruit-S0DA 
1519
1519
18.11.2020
17 comments
Grapefruit-S0DA[OP]
18.11.2020 17:56
LinkI wonder why I'm so unstable maybe because I'm the one trying to help hold others up then I'm the one leaning. They do something that upsets me every single time I csnt handle it. I love how they vent when i vent so no one gives a **** about me. Is it cause I'm scary? Probably is.
I hate my life
Grapefruit-S0DA[OP]
18.11.2020 17:59
LinkI dont want to be me but I cant seem to bring my self to change that. I can't do much alone depression is suffocating but that's ok. I've learned to live with it. What's another year? I've been here for 15. I've so been alone for it for a long time
It sucks how I cant handle it now. Why was 7 year old me better at being alone. Am I just sick of dealing with it alone? Is it because I learned I dont have to?
Grapefruit-S0DA[OP]
18.11.2020 18:01
LinkI absolutely hate how I have to say something for people to actually care. To actually think about it and try to help once I'm already so broke and alone. Why do I have to be the one to help others. Why cant I be the one others want to help. I hate this so much
Hey...
I'm here, do you wanna talk? I don't mind if you don't want too I just knew that you'd feel upset or something... I just felt it.
I guess not, welp imma keep talking anyway
I literally said in my head: Imma check on Morgan, I know she'd feel upset. I really want to talk and chat like tho old days but that's destroyed, but I still wanna be there. If I'm not busy with irl stuff I come back on and check on you, no verbally bc I don't know what to say but I just want see. Yeah I might not talk to you anymore but that doesn't me I don't care anymore. I care everyday. I promise you you float through my mind everyday. And the fact that I came here without seeing a post before hand to see if your good means you still matter to me.
But... How do you feel? My opinion could mean shit to me but I wouldn't know how you felt unless you say something... Please.
I feel lied to. That's all I'm going to say. If you even cared or checked everyday we would have probably had this conversation not to long ago. In my opinion it seems like a lie sorry
I wanna talk to you too, more, like a whole lot more. I've been very distant bc I think you hate me.
I don't hate you. If anything I'd be annoyed of you not talking to me. I dont hate easily.
Oh, oh man... Okay that's good... You don't hate me...
We can talk more often if you'd like, I'm usually on hangouts if you wanna join there or have my phone number.
Sure but i dont have any confidence so i dont face time anyone. We could call and stuff. But i do know i treat face time as if it was a irl hang out. I dont really cry nor show sadness. I dont know why but I dont.
But I'd love to talk to you again
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