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17 comments

Grapefruit-S0DA[OP]
18.11.2020 17:56
LinkI wonder why I'm so unstable maybe because I'm the one trying to help hold others up then I'm the one leaning. They do something that upsets me every single time I csnt handle it. I love how they vent when i vent so no one gives a **** about me. Is it cause I'm scary? Probably is.
I hate my life

Grapefruit-S0DA[OP]
18.11.2020 17:59
LinkI dont want to be me but I cant seem to bring my self to change that. I can't do much alone depression is suffocating but that's ok. I've learned to live with it. What's another year? I've been here for 15. I've so been alone for it for a long time
It sucks how I cant handle it now. Why was 7 year old me better at being alone. Am I just sick of dealing with it alone? Is it because I learned I dont have to?

Grapefruit-S0DA[OP]
18.11.2020 18:01
LinkI absolutely hate how I have to say something for people to actually care. To actually think about it and try to help once I'm already so broke and alone. Why do I have to be the one to help others. Why cant I be the one others want to help. I hate this so much

Hey...
I'm here, do you wanna talk? I don't mind if you don't want too I just knew that you'd feel upset or something... I just felt it.

I guess not, welp imma keep talking anyway
I literally said in my head: Imma check on Morgan, I know she'd feel upset. I really want to talk and chat like tho old days but that's destroyed, but I still wanna be there. If I'm not busy with irl stuff I come back on and check on you, no verbally bc I don't know what to say but I just want see. Yeah I might not talk to you anymore but that doesn't me I don't care anymore. I care everyday. I promise you you float through my mind everyday. And the fact that I came here without seeing a post before hand to see if your good means you still matter to me.
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