I remember when my dad always yelled at me for small things like when I didn't turn the light off or if I forgot to close the blinds or if I wasn't watching my sisters good enough but I was 8 years old I didn't know I didn't know why I felt so stupid all the time I did t know why I forgot stupid things I didnt know I always felt stupid and like a problem he told me he loved me but he scared me he yelled a lot and he said I was a terrible daughter and he told me that I almost killed my sister multiple times but it wasn't my fault I was 8 years old I didn't know how to watch after a child I didn't understand he always screamed at me and he drank a lot and I tried to get help but I gave up I gave up I was scared they started an investigation but it was eventually stopped because I lied to them and said it was fine

there is one moment I will never ever forget ever

and it is the biggest reason im afraid of him

tw for this one my sister elora was 3 years old she put toothpaste on our tooth brushes she didn't know better she was a kid and my dad walked in he screamed at her he screamed so loud and he hit her so many times it lasted for minutes and I heard her screaming and crying I was just trying to do the dishes I didn't want to hear that

My mom and dad got divorced when I was 4 or 5 years old and I didn't really understand what happened because I thought what had happened to me was normal but I realized it wasn't it wasn't normal

I knew he was abusive when I was little but its too far back to remember I cant remember my life before I was 6

And then I got a concussion 2 or 3 years ago and Im genuinely convinced I lost some stuff because I suddenly got really bad at grammar and writing and I forgot things that were important to me when I remembered them

and then my stepmom got mad at me for getting a concussion

I didn't mean to do it

and they made me cry on my 10th birthday I remember that they made me cry

in public

they kicked danny out which I just now know the reason for

when I apologized for something I didn't mean to do they didn't care they told me to stop apologizing

they thought I didn't mean I was sorry I was sorry I was sorry for everything I didn't want them to be upset at me

i tried so hard but i was just a kid i tried to be a good kid but i always slipped up

every time

i dont even have a bed

I haven't had a bed since I was 7 at his house

I slept behind the couch on a cot in the apartment then we moved and I sleep in my room with my two sisters on a cot with a mattress on it

oh my god its 12 o clock

what

how is it 12 wtf

well Im jus gonna leave this here cuz i wanna do something else other than rant for a bit :3 weeeeeee

might continue later idk

how the heck did u sit through all of that😭

thanks man that means a lot