My head. It hruts realltbadlu. It feelingss like somone is punching itovernad ovwrm again. My ehesb hurt m mt whole body heurts. Badly i feel. Weak.

Icried. All over my bed its all wet i wa s going to take. Anap but i didnt and i spirlaed. I cant go to sleep. Now my bed iw all wet. My parents will also call m fown to fo my cjore soon i think so i have to calm down and. Look nice and normal

Everfday i relaizs. That nobody will ever love me the way i love others . Ill never bhave a. Deep connection witj anyone and im ugly and disgusting this is why i only have had online relationships because. Nobdoy see my face. Hahahdhdjj i donr wanna. Do this anymor. Im 17. Can i geive up nowm. I tried to get better for a lokng time. But im almost an adult so i thonk its ok to hive up because i should know better by now rightn? I should knoe how the world worksn and how to be a good eprosnn. But i dont know it . At all. Wverydya i feel liek im stoll in middlecshool being bullied and coming home and heing deoressed because nothing has reallt cahbged besides i learned some. Stuff i giess

No one isb ever goigjg to want to hold me and tell me its all going to be okay and treat me gently nobodys vgoijg to play legos with me and wtach my my gffavprite shows with me and share snacks with me. No one is ever going. To tell me that im safe and loved and that im not a burden and that im handsome and beautiful no one. Is ever fgping to tell mem that they like losgenijg to me talkanf ramble nobodybis ever going to trll me that thy love me and they dont care anout sex and they love me for who i am inside and not my body nobody. Is ever going to tell me that im not fisgusting and thay im besutiful and thay they would never take advantage ofm. Me nobody is ever going tl hold my hand and walk with m.e through a museum nobdou is everygping to help me get out of. Bedd when im too depressed nobody is ever going to love me like i love pothers

My body will never .be respected if i ever rind a. Connection with someone in real life i know im going to get raped because ill just be silent and let it happen becaus i cant say no and silence meajns yes so itll be ny fault for not say8ng anything it is mt fault thay ibhave a body with parts you can touch and make yoruselfk feel good witu its my fault thay unfer all my baggy clthes im a female and thats tempting to others its my gfault that i have these body parts its my fault it miyhtnseem likr im askign fornit hahahhhhshhahhhhqhhahhshhhhhjsjjjjjjjsowoooooeojnbbbb

Iwas asking for it. All along. As. A kid i was asking for it when i consgantly sexualized myselfninfront of family and even strangers to make peoplr laugh so maybe someone would like me and think im not annoying. Naybe i could make people like me

And still i dont know what happened to me to make me feel this. Way all the time. Verh cool. Maybe i was never touxhed or raped as a kid maybe i was just born to be this way constantly secualizing myself. Maybe im a. Bad person. Maybe i was supposed to kill myself a. Lkong tiem ago

Whopps! Funny post i made here. I . Am just so so silly. Ohhhh im so sikly. Silly. Ih. Hahahhahha. Ooooops. Wohioopss

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