Istg if it weren't for the sliver of hope that things were gonna get better I'd kill my whole family and live life on the run

My whole body feels numb jfc I hate this stupid ass white ***** that's my brother because SOMEHOW SOMEWAY HE GETS HIS WAY

I don't even know why I was born

I don't want to live in a world that doesn't want me either I'm just so scared of killing myself because I wanted to do so much I wanted to be someone who inspired others

And I've been stuck for three years now and I just- I hate this

I wanted to make it I really did but it's seriously just It's just one more thing to push me off this edge I'm constantly tipping on I feel like killing myself then something good happens and so I feel good And then it happens again and I'm just waiting for something to break the cycle for ****s sakes I want to kill myself so badly

I want it to end the happy way I really really do I want it so bad but life It's just Ig it has other plans Some people will never know what it's like to be 15 and feel like they've already done all they could I'm constantly hearing from people about how they just "kept going no matter how bad ot got" but I'm not one of those people Because **** I'm so so tired There years of this and I'm so so tired.

They look at me in group therapy writing and drawing all these things I love and question why I'm so suicidal

Seriously get over yourself Jericho.