Aw... How can I make you feel better?

:c

I would be happy to. I have nothing else to do

It was okay. I always get a little emotional around night, though, so not good right now. How about you?

Good. What are you looking forward to in the future?

Doesn't really matter. Anything??

I don't like thinking about the future

Huh. What is the worst thing that's happened in your life, or maybe something kinda subtle that changed everything?

Uh, back in May of 2014 my great grandmother died. She was 82, so lived a good life. I realized just a while ago that that was when I seemed to be sadder, or just a little more emotional. I honestly didn't care as much as I should have when she died. I think thats what caused me to be irritating and stuff :/

Once when she was 4, my sister cut her hair super short, and it was all over the bathroom

And I hate weighing myself because I just don't like seeing my weight. I actually think I should lose some weight. I was 84 pounds since i last measured myself

Frick i'm talking too much, aren't i

I like talking online. Idk why. Today my mom told me to order my own food at a restaurant. I got all sweaty and felt hot. I forgot how to talk and I couldn't tell what was going on. I hate talking to people I don't know

That is, In real life. I'm happy talking to you

Sometimes I feel really violent. Like, when I couldn't find my phone, I thought that my parents had taken it, since I wasn't talking to them much. I wanted to like, scoop their eyes out or do something. But then I found it and felt relieved.

haha rip

I also had a dream where someone that looked like my grandpa broke into my house. He looked exactly like him, but I knew it wasn't him. I ended up stabbing him to death. I also stabbed my mom in the eye :/ Only felt bad for my mom. BUT THIS WAS A DREAM

I think I need help but putting on a happy face is easier. This is why i sometimes take anger out on myself, or just hurt myself in guilt for thinking these thoughts. and sometimes for complaining, which im doing right now

pfft. I should like, pull weeds or something. Then i'd actually do something useful while im angry

I also walk on the 120+ Fahrenheit sidewalk barefoot and it hurts like frick and feels nice

And the little mark from like, 2 weeks ago is almost gone so im and kind of happier :D

I dont know where that "and" came from

have you ever taken a bunch of melatonin pills and refuse to sleep? I would sometimes do 15 mg of Melatonin and at like, 3:00 am, I didn't know what the heck was going on, I couldn't stand up or i'd fall over, and i liked it

And you can't die from any overdose and its not like, a drug, so its fine

Haha. I got a 120 pill bottle and it was gone in like, 2 weeks

well, yeah, but 15 mg doesn't work, and the dosage for my age is like, 1 or 2

Idk. How's your family?

or is there anything YOU want to talk about?

Hm. I don't have a way for my my grandparents to speak to eachother. I don't know if they've ever spoken to eachother. My mom's parents got divorced, my grandma on that side might be dead, maybe not. On my dad's side, my grandpa died of something idk, and my grandma and me are both almost the same

Have any pets?

aw. I have two cats that hate eachother. One is a little runt, the other is big and fat

sorry

I feel like you're silently going " TMI" so ill shut up a bit

Frick i hate how my parents are worried for me and ThEyrE GonNa WoRry AGaIn

Because of my fricking wrist rn it has 3 or 4 slightly visible lines, and probably gonna be 5 >:////

Its addicting though. I don't know why, but i keep doing it again, no matter how many times i tell myself ive stopped >:////////

And out of anxiety that you know where i am, I will not only continue, but hold a ****in' knife close

ok

I do care about other people. its the only reason im not dead

im sorry

im going to try to stop again

I scare myself. I know exactly what i can do, and i know exactly what i can do to others. This is why i try to shut up

ok

no stop being sorry. I should be sorry. Im being a selfish, attention seeking brat probably

No. I've believed this for a long time. Before i met you. No-one but me makes me believe the words i hate

I'm always scared of being like every other teenager. I don't know why. That sentence is probably my only real weakness.

im sorry. Same to you, though. You seem kind and caring. You listen. I would never want to lose you, even though i dont really know you

Why?

You're nice too. My emotions are also going insane, since it's night. It makes me happy to talk to you. It really does. I wanted you to know that

Yeah. Thank you for letting me vent, I guess. Should i go to sleep??

Ok. I dont know if its night for you, but im still gonna say night. I'm happy to have talked to such a nice person. I can't talk to many people, since I'm not at school

omg 11:24 here too

;O; baking in Texas hby

I went to Florida a few weeks ago

around Destin and Fort Walton

Oh i went to Pensacola once. It was nice over there

OK YOU TO >:OOOOOO

u too whe you sleep