college tomorrow im so ****ed

i technically still have a little bit of a break left but tomorrow i go to college for a bit of an introduction day, get used to the time table and the campus meet people etc etc

i've already been lol and it distressed me so much i just cried in my room for the whole day. then i went again and had a breakdown in the car as my parents yelled at me but luckily i only had to go in there for like 10 mins and go home

tomorrows gonna be like a proper day with actual lessons the others were just taster days and securing my placement

it's okay. i'll have to get used to it i can't drop out it's a legal requirement for me to stay in education till at least 18. i don't know, maybe it'll be a bit better now that i've been moved to a different class

oh i have to retake my maths gcse too because i failed it lol. so fun! ^_^

it's not even because i found maths particularly hard, i actually used to be in one of the top classes. but ever since i took a test at the end of that school year i did horribly on it because it was calculator only and mine wasn't working which wasn't very fair. because of how poorly i ended up doing on it i got moved to the bottom class where all the dumbass kids go which i wouldn't really care about but the teacher was AWFUL. he was TERRIBLE at teaching and would never help me when i actually needed it, and he spoke in such a monotone way it was genuinely a fight to try and stay awake during his classes