My grades are gonna start slipping with my mental state. I’m ****ed up enough academically, I don’t need more to worry about. I literally cannot sleep because of my thoughts. Irrational thoughts mostly, but some are genuine concerns.

It’s nothing as far as self-harm goes; I have zero thoughts of hurting myself so don’t worry about that.

What is it that makes me so incompatible? God damn it I would do anything to get rid of that.

What is it that makes me “not the right one?” Because god ****ing damn it I would do anything to get rid of that.

I can’t do anything about it right this second. But I have to sleep. But I can’t sleep until I do something about it. What the hell?!

It’s unfair. But I don’t blame anyone. This is just how things rolled out. Sometimes they’ll just roll out unfairly. Which it did. I’m really hurt. Not by anyone’s actions, but by the situation I find myself in. I’m trapped.

And it’s not just about my own situation, it’s about my friends too.

Point is, it hurts. It’s stressful. But I gotta take it in the ass whether I want to or not. But I’m not gonna do it without a fight.