Bro im going to die one of these days istg im so hungry but i can't eat anything without wanting throw up its actually so painful i dont know wtf is wrong witu me and everyday i just wanna cut for no reason or i forgot the reason i forget everytbing and i sound like an asshole to my friends because i cant remember basic shit and srsly im aboit to be 2 months clean in 2 days but idk how the urges are gonna be tomorrow. At least i dont have school becaude i havent a scoliosis appointment but im not excited to bend over butt booty naked with only a robe on for an old guy to examine my spine and runs his fingers all over me

Everyday im constantly in fear that my friends are gonna kill themselves and i dont know how much more i can take, i hate my intrusive and impulsive thoughts and i am stressed asf over school and it only started a few weeks ago

I feel so alone despite all my friends saying i can talk to them im not going to waste their time with this bs because it might mot even help and ill just waste both of our times im meeting my therapist on saturday but now that i have onr i am scared to be open and actually ask for hlep

My hair is also falling out so wtf its like im slowly decomposing and i already have delusions of that so this just makes my life 10x harder + whenever people clap slowly i started to shake and i camt control it at all AND every loud noise makes me jump snd the kids at school laugh at me

I feel like so many people just treat me like a joke like im not a real person and they can make fun of me because i will go along with it and almost never say stop because i cant tell people no a lot of the time

Sometimes i feel extremely grossed out when i get sexualized but then again it feels like maybe someone wouldl actually love me and i could be a good person and i could make soneone happy

i talk too much i dont know when to shut my mouth and i overshare or i talk too little and im rude i dont even knoe what to do anymore i cant make anyone happy

Thank you <3

I love you too twin ok twin?