It's been a little over a week.. and my life has already made me want to die..

My goal to help other scuicidal ppl has worked.. bc anything someone tells me..I take it and give them happiness..but what I took, their pain, even if I didn't take it all..it still takes a huge toll upon me..

..And..me and my friend set smth up together..but then I had to cancel bc I had to help someone get their dog back and my cousin and my aunt were coming over anyways..my cousin sexually harassed and assualted me, he went to jail..anvmy friend committed scuicide later that night..

I'm struggling in school and my father's side of the family thinks I'm a Failure and a attention seeker so they don't accept me as trans..

I've lost everything but my friends and significant others..

I'm ready to peacefully leave..

Ive seen enough.. I've seen too much.. I'm ready to go..

But..the more ppl tell me not to.. the more I want to bc my mind says: "it's fake! They are lying.. they want you to..but they care more about their reputation then they do about wether you're alive or not!" But when ppl ignore me it goes: "see? I told you.. THEY. DONT. CARE." But when someone agrees it goes: "They think they're more important..end it and you won't suffer.." BUT I AGREE! THEY ARE MORE IMPORTANT But when you give me pity then i feel like I don't deserve it and that I should've shut up..

There are times when I can't give.. and all I can do is take.. BUT I EXIST TO GIVE AND TAKE! I EXIST TO GIVE HAPINESS AND TAKE SADNESS