https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6SJDpMrtUrqfTRAEunoFUN?si=6ihpNktDRO2CtqJAmrCsPg&utm_source=copy-link

I want to show him, but, i am so scared

I am so desperate for his hands on mine I like when he puts his palms on my hips Or puts his forearms on the small of my back when he hugs me Or how he lets me kiss his knuckles or his face that one time we were alone I sometimes wish he would kiss me like i kiss him He rarely kisses me but when he does gods i swear i have a butterfly sanctuary inside me I like how he always has a slight smile on him He makes me just want to smile He fidgets with the rong i bought him when he is nervous, he is comfortable around my father or acts like it Hes good with kids He corrects people on my pronouns god i love him

Im scared he can hear my uneven heartbeat when he lays his head on my chest

Im scared hell remember my life has a small time limit thats coming to a close almost as fast as his graduation day We have a time limit He'll leave me and a green cloak and a funky square hat I'll leave him in a hospital bed covered wearing a cloak of my own

God im nearly seventeen Im going to die in three years I wont get married Because i only want him I wont have children Because i only want his children And right now we are burning so slow im scared there isnt even a flame But that flame so bright sometimes i swear we've known each other since the dawn of time

I want to spend my days with him I dont care how I dont care when I will figure out how to fix myself So i can fix myself Im pretty sure that its my sleep pills

Please just hold me and let me fall asleep near you I want him to taste the tea on me I want to keep him warm I want to kiss his jawline until he doesnt even blush at it anymore I want to love him until he knows how beautifu l he is even as a person

I want to change his name in my phone to superstar