Underneath my mask, and my hat- theres flowers and thorns growing underneath. Sometimes its better to hide the poison..but sometimes that poison seeps through and becomes stronger than you, yourself.

Most days, I feel desperate to defeat lonliness. And..I came a long way. So far that I don't think I can give up now. So much progress that has been made but slowly making me into a new person. Wheres the old me? Honestly.. I don't even know the old me but I know what feels like home, and this just ain't it.

I came as far just as anyone else on this site..I shelter who I am to keep my strong standpoint and views alive. I want to be a figure people can seem to see as a leader...or even just a taller being whos short in ego and self esteem

I don't vent on her because I'm afraid to. Everytime I have, I've lost a follower..so anyone who vents now I tend to laugh at and make fun of because I've lost my own belief and courage.

I've always been chosen last, cut infront of, torn down, stepped on, put down, laughed at, pointed at, a joke, just another laugh for peoples entertainment..and I don't take shit from no-one anymore. Today, I walk tall and high because I've had enough. I even tried to give up my position but nobody can take it from me..even if it was a handout.

And I'll be honest. I hate handouts. I'm trying to get stronger, not broken down. COuld call me bob the builder cause I'm working 24/7 to build a strong structure to knock other *****es down to their level..cause they sure as hell ain't on mine

so when you look at me, don't think I haven't been through shit..cause everytime you look at me, you see somebody whos been through hell and back again.

This time I'm not the joke. It looks like your laughing at yourselves now.