I'm tired of trying to do things for other people when i don't get the same thing in return i beat myself i enjoy the pain i like to make people happy but i can't do it anymore i want to feel truly happy but my heart physically hurts i almost put a gun to my head but who would be my brothers new big sister? i can't i won't and i don't want to hurt anymore im tired of depression and im not one of those ppl that say "Oh well im depressed" no i've been diagnosed and its getting worse idk how to stop it from taking over me its all i feel i even feel it at random moments i don't like the way i look at all thats why i don't eat and put on makeup im tired of trying i smile my way through it all i hate this i rlly do... i can't make it stop and its like im screeming for help at the top of my lungs but no one can hear me im sorry that im not perfect im sorry that im not good enough for you but plz don't make me feel like this anymore... im directing this towards anyone this is just about my family and my old friends