yea, i cant draw and i refuse to learn so these blanks are the best you'll get out of me. im listening to country music and crying because it reminds me of my sister who died a few years ago! she was the only real mother figure my siblings and i ever really had, especially the twins. god, i cant even imgaine how they feel. her death broke our family and it completly destroyed those two. her birthday is in two days as well. i really miss her, it hurts. my mom might sell me her car when i get my permit and i kinda dont want it. i dont know why im saying any of this. my stomach hurts really bad, i havent really eaten in almost a week. my father and i havent fought in a while but hes been arguing with everyone else a lot and its stressing me out. no one knows where richard is and uncle dwayne is getting worse, he hasnt gotten out of bed in days. both sides of my family are falling apart and i hate it. mama didnt answer any of mine or my siblings' calls. we arent sure where she is and im getting worried.

i think life is currently at its best point for me, it'll never get better but i doubt it'll get worse. my nightmares are calming down and everyting is slowly becoming peaceful again! im in a happy relationship, my father will be leaving soon, im pretty much happy! this is as good as it gets i guess.