tbh I honestly don't care if someone notices this or even cares about my insensitive rambling, cos yk- I'm just a kid and nobody should mind right, I want attention I really do, but I want certain attention, I want somebody to love me, to cuddle me, to just kiss me randomly when I don't expect it hhhh goddammit I honestly want to hug bee now- but I just want to be near my love, urgh I hate the big C, I'm lonely-

if I'm being perfectly honest, I'm glad I have bee, because I know she'll be with me through the tick and the thin, the light and the dark, and I'm glad about that, I love her, damn, if I had the chance I'd hold her in my arms and reassure her that I'm always there for her if she ever needs it, she can yell and scream at me, but that won't change how I feel, yeah, it might hurt, but love hurts sometimes right? It isn't always easy, and despite all of the sex jokes I make about her, I fucling love her, she's the best girlfriend I've ever had, she makes me feel good about myself, she's there for all of my rants, and it hurts to see her hurt, to see the world beating her down, I want to help her, I really do, I want to let her know that no matter what, I will always be there for her for her sad days and for her happy days, when she's sick and in health I care about her, I feel an emotional attachment that I've never had before, I hurt when she's hurt, I'm sad when she's sad

Damn i ****ing cried when she was beating herself up, I don't want to see her like that, and it hurts when she is, I just,, ugh why are feelings so hard?

I love you more <3

and you don't hurt me on purpose, you are a wonderful person and I love you so, so much, and thats why it hurts to see you hurt, grgrgr remember that I love you <3