This entire rant is about my “birthing person” (not even gonna refer to her as my mother bc that’s not what she was at all so I’ll refer to her as “BP”) As a child my father and bp got married and ig he just ignored how extremely narcissistic and hateful she was towards him a few months afterwards she started spreading rumors saying that he was threatening to take me away from her and that I was going to be kidnapped,and she was saying this to everyone she could get close to ,over the span of like a week everyone was manipulated into thinking my father was a terrible kidnapper that forced her into marriage and trapped her though children,this led to my father up and leaving for about a year,during this time I started to notice that she really didn’t like me (I was 10 btw) and she put me into these “programs” that were made to essentially marry off intersex people like me due to people thinking we were “exotic” -

When I try and remember exactly what happened there it’s just blank all I remember is crying and how gross the food was,I’m not exactly sure how long I was there but when I came back home my father still was no where to be found,she still didn’t like me and was mad that I didn’t get taken away by the people in that program, she started drinking a lot around me and my little brother who was a infant at the time and she would only yell at me or throw things at me for no reason,she really favored my brother who she also manipulated into thinking bad things about me, she would also force me to drink things I wasn’t supposed to like chemicals or dirty sink or toilet water for a few years I was mainly was locked in my room bc I was too nasty to look at according to her, she would barely feed me and would yell at me for resembling my father. This all I could remember from that year until my dad came back and they got remarried as if he didn’t learn his lesson the first time,

She would still abuse me when he wasn’t home and she would force me to drink alcohol to try and make it seem like I caused all this damage to myself and for some reason my dad would always believe her along with everyone else in my disgusting family, I think at that point I just excepted the fact that this was just my life and that nothing could be done even when I tried my best to stop it ,I called the cops on her twice in my entire life and both times they laughed at me because she’d drug me up to act silly and stupid infront of them then after they’d leave shed cut are poke me with things like screwdrivers or knifes,I could never show anyone proof of the scars even if I had the chance to because she’d do it in places no one would look. At some point my dad found out what she was doing to me and he took me and we went and lived in America for a few months, I don’t remember what happened there either I just remember getting on a plane and meeting my grandparents and who will always be my -

- favorite adults on earth, when we came back bp and my dad got into a fight and he went to jail for a while for technically kidnapping me ig, my memory is pretty vivid around this point but I won’t go into too much detail bc I was just a kid and I didn’t know it was wrong I was manipulated into thinking it was a normal thing only to realize it wasn’t I truly do regret it and it’s something I’m strongly against im only saying this so that people don’t try and weaponize it against me for no reason, at this point she would force me into uh.. “relationships” with my aunts and cousins ,this really messed me up later in life and affected my social life pretty badly. When I was 14 my dad tried to take me to Paris to hid from my mom again and I don’t know why or remember how it happened but the car ended up flipping over and it killed him and injured me really badly,I developed memory loss that’s why I struggle so mush trying to tell this story and I had to get my legs completely amputated,

For months I had no idea what happened I barely recognized my self and what made things worse is bp told me things and manipulated everyone into thinking it was my fault that her husband was dead she manipulated me into thinking the lies she told about me were true, it still effects me to this day bc I don’t know exactly how old I am I kinda just settled on 17,I had not access to any information of my real me ,she would purposely disable me ,she would take away my wheelchair forcing me to crawl around and would get mad when I would try to use my prosthetic legs and instead would beat me with them and would threaten to break them. Lots of ppl at my school knew I was being abused but didn’t do anything bc they thought it was funny. It hurts to remember a lot after that

She also would control my life and what I’d do until like a month or two ago,fortunately she died and I’ve never felt freer in my entire life,she was a absolute terrible person and I’m so happy she’s finally gone .this isn’t it I’ll continue tomorrow bc I’m kinda tired

Also I don’t mind if you guys comment just no hate please because none of this was in my control and I’m just trying to get better

Alright I think I’m ready to continue… For a while after the accident bp married another person who I’m just gonna call mr shit bag bc that’s what he was,I was like 15 and he started making sexual comments and jokes about my body and bp what’s just laughing at them the entire time and ,then she pressured me and this older man to start dating and it went on for a year and I ended up getting pregnant at 16 and bp and shit bag told me to get rid of it or I couldn’t live there anymore,so I ended up living with the guy she set me up with and he was emotionally and verbally abusive and would always threaten to punch me in the gut while I was pregnant,… when my kid was born I had no choice but to go back to bp and she cut my child’s face with her long nails and had to go to the hospital to make sure she’d be ok ,later on when bp died my family started rumors that I somehow was also responsible for her death even though I was no where around that *****….and that’s it…that’s literally everything

Ngl I feel relived to finally let all that out it feel like a ginormous weight has been lifted off my chest but also I’m kind of nervous bc I’m not sure how ppl are going think of me now

?…

Tysm,it really does mean a lot to hear that