I feel like shit nowadays. I don't know why honestly, I have everything I could ask for frankly. Good parents, easy ways of entertainment too. I can't feel much anymore to be honest.

And a big confession I've yet to confess to my parents... I've been dissociating. A LOT. It's mainly influenced by music as well. Zone outs... Straight up seeing my room as a different thing... The whole sha-bang.

I don't know what's real or fake anymore at this point. I can't even think straight without my mind wondering off to this wonderland where everything's okay and I'm cared for by random people IRL. I can't even look at my drawings at this point because my mind just ****ing wonders off trying to create a backstory and bringing me with it. And it's gotten to the point where my minds almost... Addicted to it. I can't be left alone for 30 minutes in a comfortable environment without flat out dissociating. I can't stop.

I try to keep up with FA but my mind wonders off. I can't handle it anymore. I just want to flat out drug myself out of oblivion to get this bullshit to stop at this point. So sorry I haven't been posting, or even being active anymore. I don't know what the **** to do anymore. I just want this dissociating bullshit to stop for once and be normal again.