but what keeps me going is this place this website my family and yea .

sometimes i want to rest peacefully in my bed and go to sleep and not wakeup i want everyone i love and care about to know that i did not pass away painfully in other words i am afraid of death

i don't want to leave this place even though its full of terrible people there are many many good people there and yet i still don't want to leave i should be able to get over it but i don't want it to end although i get tired of the life loop i don't want it to end.

it is hard to think about letting go of all of my dreams and ideals. i don't want to leave them behind but if i do will they flutter to someone else's mind? and maybe they will fufill all of my dreams

1 want t0 p3ac3fully r3st and d1e. w1th a11 of th3 p30ple that 1 l0ve kn0wing that i died peacefully

oh, emotions? those.. i don't want them to leave i want to still feel pain to know i did wrong and to have compassion for others i want anger to show my frustration i want love to show someone, or something that i adore them i want to keep all of them memories? i do not want to lose them either

but what if all of the terrible people were gone would i still feel this way? yes.

i do not want to be alone i dont want to be left .