did you want critism or anything? :,D [not thats its terriable its pretty good tbh]

o k heres the stuff: Like i said i few minutes ago this is really good wtf stop being good at writing its making me jealous >;( but there were a few things that would make a difference between your work being A+ made-to-be-in-a-published-book work or cringey-af-fanfiction 1. Theres no need to describe every single word, for example "he pulled the dark fabric". The word "dark" was unneeded and it would've been fine to just say "covers" or "blanket" for "fabric". Instead use a different word for the verb, "pulled" because its such a plain and ineffective word. You could say "tugged" for example, a common word alot of authors use instead of "pulled/pulling". this goes for alot of other sentences too like " Virgil let out a high pitched shriek of terror before diving back under.." 2. After sentences were the character speaks it isnt smart to use a "uncommon or complicated" word explaining that they talked. E.g: "did it stop..? He pondered". i understand your trying to make your work sound as best you

can, but simpler words like "wondered" wouldve been better than "pondered" because then it sounds like your trying to hard Sorry thats so long xd i tried to make it as short as possible

nu problemo