my brother still gets to keep his stuff when he is doing the exavt same shjit im doing except he is failing more and my mom doesnt even care my step sister got to hang out with friends today and what have i don i havbent done anything becvajse my step sister wanted to kindle for some reason even Fter she hung out with her frien ds im so pissed i genuinely hate this famiky and how differently i am treated from my siblings i Can't find my fucjing blade and im pissed

genuineky hate my life and nothing i do is ever good enough so i just want to kms i thought id have a beter life if i stoppedgoinf to my dads house but no its stilll terrible

FOR ****S SAKE CAN MY TEACHERS JUST UPDATE THE GRADES IM SO PISSED shes going to put in the grDe fro the wuiz i failed and then my grade is going ti get worse everythung is just getting worse even when i trynreally hard nothing is even worth it i didnt even want to make it to 17 in the first place because i dont even ****ing know how life works and everyone expects so much of me and i cant do everything i cant i cant do this shit anymore im so tired of trying when nothing matters can i please just kill myseld please i feel like im sufferingf more than im living and being happy i dont even knoe who i am and im not even a real person im not real please ca. everyone just let me go so i can die in peace i cant take it anymore i cant do tjis any longer

i hope when i kill myself that nobody cares and everhone forgets about me so i dont make anyone sad

i didnt make a good change to the world i dont serve a purpose here

who decides when its my time

ive been waiting so long for something good to finally happen

how much longer do i have to wait i cant stnand it anhmore

im sorry

idont know how to enjoy living when i am trapprd

you dint have to talk to me yiuknow ill porobably be abelt to distarct mysekf and thrn sleep and ill wkae up tonorw and eveyrrhugn will be ok i thinj

i dint know if i shoukd hokd onto my life what if i jsut get worse and what if i hurt people indont want to do that

i am sorry that you lost someone, i dont think i could understand how that feels since i never lost anyone close to me in that way i tried not to think about how much it would hurt others because i do not think people should really care about me when i have not done anything major for them you know like i feel like i havent earned anyones care, i am not suer if anyone else feels this way i hope you are okay im not sure if anyone cares about me that much because my memory is foggy and i cant remember being happy sometimes so this kind of thing happens if someone cares about me that much maybe it would be ok to stay

i don't want to make anyone sad but i also do not understand why people woukd care about me either i am not sure if you care or if you feel obligated to say these things this does not mean that i don't believe in your words because i think i do

i hope this does not sound pitiful but why do you care about me

but i didnt help you or anything i didnt really do anything for you

you are taking time out of your day to help me i thank you even though i do not understand very well but it means a lot to me

is it ok if i leave this comment section and post up so i dint forget this

it is important ti me

thank you very much for everything