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03.05.2021
24 comments
03.05.2021 18:24
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I hate trying to help people because all I do is make them angry and thats why in the past I never had friends I would try and be helpful and they would bully me but oh well if I am not useful then why be alive? I don't think that I deserve life if I use it like this.. If I was gone, the people who actually would care wouldn't even know because I only talk to them online, my family may feel a loss, but only of something taking up space.. I am sorry for saying this I know I also end up with nothing when I share problems like this. I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry
03.05.2021 18:34
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I hate life but if I unsuccessfully tried to end it I would be grounded and shut out of the world by my family for feeling this way, my family yells at me if I am not happy and smiling, which is why I said I am tired of smiling. idk why my parents think I am dramatic.. they don't know or feel things that I do... why try in this life. I like pain... but not like this.. I am sorry but I cant punch my pillow or bed because it doesn't hurt and I wanna be physically hurt to take my mind of my pain mentally. I am sorry I am alive, I am sorry I am such a problem, I am sorry I am not happy all the time, I am sorry I am a disappointment, I am sorry I hate myself, I am sorry you had it worse, I am sorry I cover my face with makeup, I am sorry I am incecure, I am sorry for venting, I am sorry for saying my problems.. I am sorry..
03.05.2021 18:38
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it is my fault that I am like this..
03.05.2021 18:38
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It's not like my family helps
03.05.2021 18:39
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but HEY your right I'm fine and I am happy and nothing is ever wrong because what my sister went through was worse right?
03.05.2021 18:39
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I can't feel this way because I didnt go through something worse?
03.05.2021 18:39
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and I cant cry because I have to smile
03.05.2021 18:40
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I cant cry even when I am by myself because tears wont come out
03.05.2021 18:40
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soon it will be too much and I will burst
03.05.2021 18:40
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cant wait for a year of holding back tears and pain to come rushing out at the same time
03.05.2021 18:41
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I wont be able to think so I am sorry if I leave or hurt myself
03.05.2021 18:41
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or shut you out because I happen to do that when people start noticing my pain
03.05.2021 18:42
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I hate when people see my pain but because I am in so much it is over flowing
03.05.2021 18:43
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which is why one little thing just made me vent when it was little
03.05.2021 18:43
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I am sorry if you think this is your fault because it isn't I am just like my dad and just takes my anger out on the smallest thing
03.05.2021 18:44
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I am sorry I say sorry so much
03.05.2021 18:46
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I am sorry my laugh is annoying I am sorry my voice is annoying I am sorry I am not perfect I am sorry I ruin you day I am sorry my smile is horrible I am sorry I can't hold all this pain I am sorry I can't be okay I am sorry I hate my body I am sorry I want attention I am sorry I talk so much I am sorry I ask for a therapist I am sorry I got angry when you said no to a therapist and I am sorry for existing
03.05.2021 18:48
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no body cares so I should stop
03.05.2021 19:36
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Beth, please, I don't want you to be in any pain, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, you are a wonderful person, I want to hold you, to feel you in my arms and to let you know that I'm so, so sorry that your family is like this, never say sorry for your imperfections, never say sorry for your mental health, and I'll be damned if you EVER say sorry about you existing, you are one of the most wonderful human beings I've ever met, I love you, so, so much, you can scream at me, and you can push me away, but I'll never stop loving you, we have a future, we've gotta try, we've gotta put all of this shit behind us, it is so hard, we're just barely hanging on, our sanity is hanging on my a thread, I know, this hurts, so much, but I mean what I said, I'm sticking with you throughout all of this, weather it means we make it out of this or not, I won't live with myself if I don't try, you are perfect, in every angle, you are so beautiful, your smile is beautiful, talking so much is wonderful, I love you
03.05.2021 19:49
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I dont know what to say to this honestly... I love you so much and I am grateful to have you as a partner and I want to hug you so bad after reading this, This made me so happy beyond words, and I am happy you will be here for me if I need support or just someone to hold, you are the best partner and I wouldn't ask for anyone else no matter what, I love you with all of my heart.
03.05.2021 19:53
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never say sorry about your laugh, it is beautiful never say sorry about your voice, I love it never say sorry about your imperfections, they are beautiful never say sorry about "ruining someone's day" ruining my day makes it better never say sorry about your smile, it is beautiful and it makes my heart skip a beat every time I see it never say sorry about not being able to hold pain, it's ok, we're all humans, we all have out limits never say sorry about not being ok, none of us are never say sorry about shaming your own body, I do it too, everyone does it never say sorry about wanting attention, you don't get enough from anyone, I plan to give you lots of it when we go back to school never say sorry about talking too much, I love that about you never say sorry about asking for a therapist, you need help, we all do never say sorry about getting angry for not being able to have a therapist, you need it, I know you do and never EVER say sorry for existing, I love you so much
03.05.2021 19:54
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I love you so, so much and I don't know what I would do without you
03.05.2021 20:02
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I love you too and dont worry I wont leave <3
03.05.2021 22:03
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please, don't, <3
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