venting uuughghjf.
16 comments
Karizma[OP]
04.06.2025 03:25
LinkI feel like shit right now, i cant stop crying. I cant stop ****ing wanting to hrut myself, ive been clean for so long i cant end it now. I mad ea promise to my mom to stop. But she promised me shed never leave ans now shes gone and i dont know what to do
Karizma[OP]
04.06.2025 03:27
LinkI keep trying to tell myself that its fine or whatever but it gets harder and harder to tell myself that. I miss our stupid, meaningless conversations, i miss our dimbass dissagreements, i miss our fights, i miss how shed read me a story before bed, no matter how old i got, i miss going to the park with her and my brother, i miss sitting outside in our old house ans watching the deer, i miss showing her my shitty drawings as a kid, i miss my mom
Karizma[OP]
04.06.2025 03:29
LinkI want to convince mhself that its a good thing that shes gone, she was in pain, and now shes okay but im so ****ing selfishs. I want her back. Me and evan need her back. He still asks me when shes gonna come home and i can never ****ing answe.r. Shes not coming back ans it ****s me uo every god damn day. I have been TRYING to stay positive snd happy but **** its so hard
Karizma[OP]
04.06.2025 03:31
LinkI miss her somcuh i hate god i hate him. I wish he coukd die millions of times over so he could feel how i felt. I wish that satan would rip him apart so bad he could never come back, he took so much from me. He made my life hell and i bet you hes laughing st my tears
Karizma[OP]
04.06.2025 03:34
LinkI dont care if this is insensitive i really dont, if im offending anyone im sorry but i just. Dont care right jow. He has taken almost everything from me. He has made my life miserable, and it pisses me off so bad to see him glorified by his cult ass religion. I hate christianity, maybe if everyoe knew he was t real, mah e my mom woukd be here. She was okau. She was happy. I mevee got to say goodnigtj. I neeve got to say goodbye. It was summee, i thiught it wans giign to be a grega day and they busyed my door down sayingnthat she died
Karizma[OP]
04.06.2025 03:35
Linki cried so hard thst night, my throwt heurt so so bad. Iw ish i cousi cry liek that again, i miss jee so much. I msks my mom so so much i just wish i coukd hear her voice atkwast one more time. Imjsut want to huh her one more time. Even if its for a minutr
Karizma[OP]
04.06.2025 03:37
Link**** dude
Karizma[OP]
04.06.2025 03:38
LinkI wish i cousk just tkwk to someone, btu if int want ti btirr. My soedkinng is so shit rn jendmd,dl. I wwnt to be held, i know its stuoid but i jjst. Want someone to tell me that itll be kkay.i miss hee i miss her so ****jfn bmcjn
Karizma[OP]
04.06.2025 03:38
LinkIm gigin to dleep
You're going through a lot, no doubt about that, and it's perfectly okay to feel the emotions you're going through. Nothing's ever easy about losing someone you love and everything you feel is valid. It's not at all selfish to want someone back, even if you think it is, the desire to see, talk, laugh, with someone who you no longer can do so with is a part of grieving. It's also okay to not be sure how to feel, no one can judge you for how you deal with it and how it causes your mind to behave. Your feelings completely matter and it's not at all on anyway a burden, a bother, a hindrance, anything like that. You're allowed to feel the way that you want, and need to. There's no rules against it, or how you deal with those emotions. Life changes unexpectedly every moment that it's lived, and getting through it makes you one of the strongest people in it. I can't force you to change your mind on how you decide to deal with what you're going through, but I can do my best to bring you comfort when you express that-
-you need it. You're doing so well, even when you're at your worst. Staying strong, living, feeling, growing, that makes you a wonderful human being. Even though you've been through hell and back, you still continue to do all those things and so much more. You're doing such an outstanding job no matter what, please never forget that, and do your best to keep going strong, at everything ♡
if you need to talk im here for you and ill always be
you dont have to if you dont want to but just know that you arent alone ill talk to you and comfort you all day and night if i have to
just wanan make sure youre ok<3
its totally normal ti feel what youre feeling i understand it nothing is easy but look at you and how far youve come how strong you are and how much resilience you have
im very proud of you and ill try my best to help you every step of the way
no matter how hard it gets or how easy it is im going to be there we all will
If I'm going to be honest, I feel the exact same way about "god", if he even exists. All he's ever done so far is give people great things, and take them away as if he were just teasing. What kind of a "plan" is that?? One that causes pain and torture?? I don't blame you there at all.
You shouldn't hurt yourself.. for more reasons than one. You made a promise to your mom, and I think you should keep it, for her. No matter what. Even if it's difficult, find a healthier way to cope with this, you'd probably be preventing future guilt if you did.. Fact of the matter is, I think you should stay strong for her. You ARE strong, you've been strong staying clean, you've been strong being forced to deal with this immense amount of pain.. you're strong to voice all your feelings here, seeking reassurance when you only had yourself. If anything, put your faith in yourself, not a god who can't provide much. You seem to do so much more, no matter how difficult your life may seem to be.
We all know that life is compacted with change.. it's cliche, and unfortunately true. Of course it is, but where is that ounce of greatness?? At least, you enjoyed all moments you had with her, focus on that. You miss her so much because she made a great impact on you. Don't forget about her memory, cherish everything she did. You can still cry and let your feelings out, but, realize that she still lives on, as long as she's made you feel happy. She would probably only want to see you happy, not suffer. Nobody here would want that, either. Even if it takes time, years, months, weeks, however long, just know that you'll always care, and she's as great as she can be. There's no one else out there like it, and you'll always remember that. For all moments, you love her. That'll always be. She'll always love you, too
I hope you take care of yourself, even if it feels impossible to feel happy again, I know you'll find the light at the end of the tunnel once again. You'll find that closure soon. I promise
(You're not being selfish, by the way. It wasn't what you wanted, and I'm sure she didn't either)