VERY GOOD THING BTWW Im becoming more comfy talking to ppl irl and Im slowly developing my style and Im starting to feel hot for the first time in my life bc a boy been looking n whispering about me yay. n i like him back so double yay. Im going to try and talk to his best friend for the first time, in 2 weeks so like thats big cus being fatherless AND homeschooled made it REALLY hard to talk to boys except for teachers and boys who like look small. still never talked to the guy I like btw. anxiety a HOE

but like I’m finally feeling confident and better abt my body even w the fact that I can’t come out until after I graduate but I’m ok w that cus ppl like me and I kinda like myself…

but bro u guys need to get OFFLINE it helps so much w so much shit deadass. my head feels less n less cloudy n messed every day the more normal mundane shit I look at online 💔

no but nobody in my irl life does b/c my school is very like. bigoted due to being mostly comprised of hispanic boys who like to perform masculinity which like means they like to make fun of others and Im afraid if I came out I would get bullied and picked on relentlessly and mess up my mental well-being further, additionally my mother is transphobic and would probably outcast me and mistreat me etc so like. it’s not rlly safe for me to come out so tldr HE DOESNT KNOW but I plan to come out to him eventually. thing w him is he acts all mean and big n a lil homophobic when he’s w certain guys but around girls and his male bsf he gets softer n compassionate and makes like rlly queer humor jokes that do NOT give true homophobic he says shit like calling his bsf his boyfriend. and his cousin is also lesbian which leads me to believe hes queer prolly bi just not out..

SORRY yap fest but like I literally cannot tell ppl im not a girl as it could very well destroy my life.

what I plan to do is be in the talking phase for a long while until hes comfortable, and safe enough to come out to me bc as I said ppl at my school are extremely bigoted so he could be scared to lose his social stability via coming out which is VERY possible cus he already gets bullied and picked on for ‘looking gay’ (hes always kinda flushed, wears things like bracelets n 2 earrings in each ear etc) which is why I believe he plays into homophobia around certain ppl, but ppl talk A LOT at my school since it’s small and he knows a lot of ppl so I might have to get close to him to confirm hes not straight. on top of that I need to get to a point w him where I can safely ask ohh what r ur views on trans ppl? BEFORE I come out bc he could very well be queer and transphobic. and since ppl talk I need to be at a level of trust where I know if I come out he won’t tell other people. it’s all very complicated…

BRO OMG sorry again for the long paragraphs but as I said it’s all complicated cus my school is toxic af but he’s definitely not like as bad as the rest of them 💔 also I don’t rlly have access to ppl who are queer for sure cus I don’t go anywhere with people my age other than school. n hes the best one at my school, whos actually my age and is possibly queer. I present relatively masc irl, like ppl have thought I was a stud/butch (ik stud is incorrect for ppl who aren’t poc but my school calls anyone whos a masc woman a stud) before so he very well could be clocking me back and thats y hes noticing me.

yessss thank u so much for sticking around and listening to my bs btw it’s really appreciated 💔 I won’t rush things. I’ve never had a relationship before so I rlly cant rush if I tried lol.

THANK YOU RAY my goat for life

THANK U ROBERTTT