(sorry this took a while im just trying to keep it together) i've actually been numb for weeks so i cant rember much pretty much the only things i mostly recall are the bad things, so i pretty much joke to cope like erlier. its pretty funny because only times im not numb i forget the whole thing and later it hurts because i cant rember it and the times i did mostly laugh i cant even mostly recall it, the ways i cope are really unhealthy XDDD.