You know shit went down when the ****ass edgy kid art style coems out

But oh my god why can't I have ANYTHING in life. I can't have friends because we were all forced into separate colleges and all everyone talks about in the one I go to is sex, rape and relationship drama it's genuinely baffling how almost EVERY person in this college seems to lack any sort of personality or redeeming quality all they can do is spit rape jokes and argue back with the teacher. Can't have food because my parents have forced so much down me that it's ****ed up my eating patterns and I've been struggling to eat for months now I've come close to fainting so many times. I can't have hobbies or projects because my mum just throws everything away that I'm not actively using and hides shit from me all the time. I can't have privacy because my family is constantly around and can always hear me and check on me every 5 minutes I can't even nap it's insanity it's so bizarre they somehow manage to neglect me yet never leave me alone at the same time they never pay attention to me they act like I'm a prop-

-and maid they get to command to do everything for them and act like I don't have emotions because I'm quiet. Yet they freak out and look around for me when I so much as leave the living room because their precious little doll has gone missing how will they style it into doing whatever they want for them. They always complain about me being too quiet and secretive and how I never talk to them. They verbally abuse me on a regular basis, physically hurt me at times, constantly trigger my trauma, yell at me for being upset, sexually assaulted me in the past, threaten to abuse me etc am I really that unreasonable for not wanting to be close to you two. I can't even have my girlfriend anymore because they're trying to find out where she lives and spy on us and I'm so so terrified. My dad is especially homophobic I'm afraid of what he would do if he discovered I was dating a trans woman or even had anything to do with someone like that. If I lost her then that'd be it I'd just take my life on the spot

She's the only thing I'm still living for. I can't lose her. I'm so pathetic I depend on her and her alone and neglect all my other friends because I need her comfort and support constantly. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just be a good friend and speak to them? I want to. I love my friends. But the constant stress of everything is constantly weighing me down. It's so stupid it's so simple literally all I have to do is say hi but then I sound stale and I just want to be genuine and not seem different to any of my friends I'm so scared of losing them I've already lost so much. I need constant affirmation from them yet never return it how pathetic am I

It's so hard for me to make friends in real life because of their previously mentioned conversations. I don't care. Talk about literally anything else. There's some people that seem really nice, plenty of people have spoken to me and we had a nice conversation... I just can't keep up, I can't ask to be friends, I can't even wave and say hello because I'm such an anxious wreck. I don't know how I'm even still standing I should have died years ago

I should just give up on the dream of ever making friends and earning a comfortable life to live with my girlfriend and just turn back to the quiet husk that I was in high school who let gross boys and teachers touch and grab me inappropriately and hit on me and didn't report a single word of it because I was too afraid and felt like I deserved it

It's all so out of reach and I'm already afraid of dying in my sleep every night. I've already completely failed at life because of my anxiety attacks making me fail my exams completely. I'm already so behind on everything, what's the point. There's no hope for me. I'm just a fat disgusting leech that feeds off of others and does nothing for them in return, yet somehow still finds a way to be upset about everything

How did I even get a girlfriend what did I do. I've done nothing to deserve such a gorgeous, sweet, caring and talented girl treating me with so much love... I love her so much yet I keep flipping between absolutely adoring her and hating her and getting incredibly snappy at her and I hate it I don't ever want to be mean to her she's precious yet I completely change over the littlest things genuinely what is wrong with me how hasn't she left me already why does she treat me with so much love why

I have such horrible trust issues I can't trust anyone with talking about my feelings or anything because everyone I have trusted has either been fake and left me or spun it in a way for them to use it against me or abuse me. I'll never forget the night where I was actively having a panic attack and I couldn't breathe and my parents were shoving medication down my throat and they kept on trying no matter how many times I threw it up and neatly choked on it. They were yelling at me the whole time, complaining about how I just make their lives more stressful

I wish I could just sleep. I have to be awake at 8:30 it'd be so much easier if I just slept

Uhg **** I'm crying so loudly I'll wake up my dad if I keep.goinglike this

I know it's so pathetic of me to turn to this place and put these words out for anyone to see but I don't even care anymore I'm so used to being a loser that it doesn't even matter to me anymore

All I want is to live a long, happy and fulfilling life I don't even want anything good to come out of it I just want to live comfortably enough to not have to stress daily like I currently do. I don't have a single responsibility and I'm already stressing enough to throw up I can't imagine how I'll do once I get a job if I'm even lucky enough to secure one

Yes please 🥰🥰

Oh mygod finally I'm free man breaking from chains infront of sunset image

Hey maybe Israel isn't so bad after all

I wish I could say the same for yyo u I truly do I feel sopathegic not being able to speak toyoy or do antthing 2itj yoy or eben just do normal friend thingks with you you're auxh a sweetheart and havehad so much patiencge with em kover the years and itake it for granted every time I'm so sorry,

I love you pug I'm sorry

I want to be enough for you you're one of the only people in this world I can trust please what can I do for you

Every time I'm me I seem to scare people away or do so little with them they leave put of lack of interest

Thankyou.... that made me smile.. I love talking to you too even if my actions don't really reflect that, it's always a pleasure to get to talk to you pug

Don't worryy you don't have to respond right away or even at all I just had to get some thoughts out because they were absolutely crushing me. You two have fun ^_^ and thank you for your time

Can't guarantee I will but I might ifi calm down and amstill awake