Little did he know, however, that Joshu already had no will to live because he was so ugly, and so Joshu just dropped dead from having no will to live times 2. “Yay!” Cried Emporio, who had just barely survived getting thrown into a car by Josuke. “The bad man is gone!” It was then that Josuke realized what he had done. He had killed an ugly boy for liking his sister, who was a whore anyways. He cried like Joshu, ugly and loud, attracting the attention of YasuHO. She ran over to him, then clung onto his arm, cause she like liked Josuke. They weren’t blood related, so she figured it was okay because Josuke was a snack.

“What is wrong, brother?” “You see whore, I have killed my only friend. He was an ugly boy and now he is a dead ugly boy. That is the reason for my sorrow.” “Ah, I see.” Then, not really knowing how to end the story, she called upon the power of DIO, her father, and he massacred the entire city, thus putting an end to our story.

That's it for the first chapter, let me know if you're interested in chapter two. All of the beta for erased on both of them tho, so they're worse than they already were lol

Josuke was sitting at home, making a yummy breakfast for his family, when he heard a knock at the door. Setting down his delicious Rocks, he sprinted to the door, opening it to find a familiar child. “Hello jackass, I am Emporio and I am here to burn down your house!” The child then proceeded to punch him in the kneecap, sending Josuke to the floor. Joshu, who was saying Yo to Angelo, noticed that there was a ruckus and walked towards it. “Josuke, who is this child and why has he hit you in the kneecap?” He questioned. However, Josuke was no longer there, and in his place were two more men. “Hello have you seen any Hands around here?” Questioned the one in a sailor suit. The other, who had a pompadour, mumbled about a rumbly tumbly. Jobin then menacingly walked up to the group, snacking on some delish Beetles, and pointed to the sailor twink. “Oi, Josuke what has happened to your hair?”

“What the hell did you just say about my hair!???!!!??! I am Kira.” Kira bowed. This made Emporio cry. “I wanted revenge on this man for pushing me in front of a car. It was not very nice of him, he is a big bully. But now he is two men and I cannot do it.” Pompadour boy then spoke up. “I know what happened. My name is Josefumi, and I used to be a big bully just like Josuke.” There was a collective gasp before he continued. “I met Kira at Dollar Tree. I needed some Rocks for my tasty meal™, and he told me he did not appreciate the state of my hair for it was a disgrace to true gangstars with far more luscious pompadours than I. I was so angery, I whacked his kneecap, and then we merged. We probably got separated because the child hit Josuke in the kneecap again.” Kira nodded at this explanation.

"So then, I guess that this means Josuke is dead and the whore will marry me!" Cried Joshu, licking YasuHO. The girl was repulsed and so she stepped away from him because she found his actions to be perverse and unbecoming of a suitor. "I am sorry Joshu but I do not lean that direction." Joshu seemed to be confused, so she had to elaborate to the stupid idiot. "Listen here vile scum, I am only attracted to adoptive brothers of mine. That is why I must decline your declaration of perverse intentions." "Goddammit whore, why will you not love me???!?!!!???" The ugly boy yelled, crying. Josefumi felt bad for the stupid man, and so he went to comfort him. "Hey now you ugly asshole who nobody likes, why do we not go inside and snack on the delicious Rocks I have baking in the oven?"

"Josefumi, you are pregnant? Why did you not tell us you were having twins???" Questioned Emporio. Josefumi put his face in his hands because Emporio was such a dumb little *****. "No dumb little *****, I am cooking some tasty Rocks for breakfast. Well, really Josuke is the one who was cooking them. They are sedimentary rocks too, the best kind in my opinion. That is why I believe we should be Josuke once more, so that he can finish cooking breakfast." “I would not like to be Josuke right now, Josefumi. I am vegan, so I can only eat igneous Rocks. Also, a close friend of mine who is called Angelo is sedimentary so it would be a little awkward if I were to eat the ancestors of my best friend.” Josefumi was angered by this statement, and so he kicked Kira right back in the kneecap. Josuke reappeared out of thin air and the other two disappeared. “Oh wow so I am two people that is super bizarre. That must be why I have four balls.” Said Josuke.

Emporio huffed, sadly and said “I may have the big depresso from all of your bullying but I guess I can forgive you because you have four balls. Now let us all go and eat those scrumptious Rocks you prepared, Josuke.“ The gang laughed, and Jobin chomped on another Beetle as they all stepped inside, ignoring the rest of Josuke’s ugly, hungry family, who starved to death without the cromch.

Chapter 3 is still in the works. I also have a crusaders crack fix if anyone wants to see it 👀

😎

Ok chief I gotchu