Depression is such a cruel punishment. There are no fevers, no rashes, no blood tests to send people scurrying in concern, just the slow erosion of self, as insidious as cancer. And like cancer, it is essentially a solitary experience; a room in hell with only your name on the door.

I don’t think people understand how stressful it is to explain what’s going on in your head when you don’t even understand it yourself

Everyone thinks I’ve gotten better. I haven’t. I’ve just gotten better at hiding it.

It hurts but it’s ok… I’m used to it

Depression is like a war. You either win or die trying

I’m often silent when I’m screaming inside

I used to be good friends with my depression, saying oh I’m so depressed, or life is terrible.

Depression is living in a body that fights to survive, with a mind that tries to die.

I’m tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I’ve been smiling, but inside I’m dying.

People think depression is sadness. People think depression is crying. People think depression is dressing in black. But people are wrong. Depression is the constant feeling of being numb. Being numb to emotions, being numb to lie. You wake up in the morning just to go back to bed again. Days aren’t really days; they are just annoying obstacles that need to be faced. And how do you face them? Through medication, through drinking, through smoking, through drugs, through cutting. When you’re depressed, you grasp on to anything that can get through the day. That’s what depression is, not sadness or tears, it’s the overwhelming sense of numbness and the desire for anything that can help you make it from one day to the next.

Depression? It's like drowning but not being able to die

I wanted to talk about it. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell. i wanted to shout about it. but all I could do was whisper "I'm fine"

I am good for a while I’ll talk more, laugh more sleep and eat normally but then something happens like a switch turns off somewhere and all I am left with is the darkness of my mind but each time it seems like I sink deeper and deeper and I am scared… Terrified that one day I won’t make it back up I feel like I am gasping for air screaming for help but everyone just looks at me with confused faces wondering what I am struggling over when they’re all doing just fine and it makes me feel crazy what the hell is wrong with me?

Social anxiety afraid to go out. Afraid to talk to people. It’s difficult to make friends. I rather be home. Alone. Scared to be in a big crowd of people. Panicking about going to a social event. Nervous about meeting someone new. Scared to ask someone something. Staying quiet instead of asking for something you need. Feeling like everyone is watching you. Regretting going out.

I look outside and I see a whole world better off without me.

I stopped talking about how I felt because I knew no one cared anyway.

I just wish you knew how difficult it is to get out of bed and act happy for the day when all you want to do is break down in tears.

Please don’t ask if I’m okay, I might do something stupid like open up to you and I’m really tired of getting close to people and watching them leave me like I’m nothing.

But, I mean who would be in love with me? That’s stupid.

Everyone: you’re too quiet Me: *Tries to talk – gets ignored – gets interrupted – gets talked over – no one pays attention – no one cares.

“who hurt you?” “My own expectations.”

We stopped checking for monsters under the bed when we realized they were inside of us.

Every thought is a battle, every breath is a war, and I don’t think I’m winning anymore.

Think I have to admit… I miss cutting I miss my razor blades I miss the blood I miss the feeling of being relieved I miss everything… I’m sorry. You thought I was over it. But honestly, I just miss it!.

The worst type of crying is the silent one. The one when everyone is asleep. The one where you feel it in your throat, and your eyes become blurry from the tears. The one where you just want to scream. The one where you have to hold your breath and grab your stomach to keep quiet. The one where you can’t breath anymore. The one when you realize the person that meant the most to you, is gone.

Depression is like being homesick, but not knowing where home is.

What would you do if one day you woke up to find that I didn’t.

“You asked me how I was doing and I wanted to spill out of my pain to you. I wanted to say, I’m really not doing well at all, I hardly sleep, and the smallest things make me cry because I’m balanced right on the edge but all I said was I’m okay and the sad thing was that you believed me.”

I’ve always been afraid of losing people I love. Sometimes I wonder if there is anyone out there afraid to lose me.

If I let you in, please don’t break anything.

You see that girl? She looks so happy, right? Telling jokes, smiling, having a great time and… Dying inside. She’s hurt. And tired. Tired of all the drama, tired of not being good enough, tire of life. But she doesn’t want to look dramatic, weak and attention seeking. So she keeps it all inside. Acts like everything’s perfect but cries at night. So everybody thinks that she’s the happiest person they know. That she has no problems and her life is perfect. If only they knew the truth…

I still hate myself I still thinking about dying and some nights I still hurting myself but I swear I’m trying my hardest to be OK.

Everyone gets tired of me at some point. Then eventually they’ll leave. They all do.

I’m so sorry I’m not the daughter you wanted I’m so sorry that I’m a shitty sister I’m so sorry that I’m depressed and I cry a lot and I hide in my room I’m so sorry that I don’t do everything you ask I’m so sorry I’m not perfect and pretty I’m so sorry that I put such a damper on your lives and that I’m tired and antisocial please forgive me for being a human being I really am sorry that I even exist I wish I could disappear to make it easier on everyone seen as I’m such a horrible person seen as it’s impossible to be nice to me impossible to deal with me impossible to love me I’m so ****ing sorry.

Maybe death hurts less than life.

What’s wrong? I’m ugly. I’m fat. I’m a failure. I’m depressed. I’m suffering. I want to die. I hate this world. I hate myself. I’m imperfect. I can’t do anything right. I’m disgusting. I’m just not okay. And you don’t really seem to care. Nothing, I’m fine.

I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of yelling. I’m tired of being sad. I’m tired of pretending. I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of being angry. I’m tired of feeling crazy. I’m tired of feeling stuck. I’m tired of needing help. I’m tired of remembering. I’m tired of missing things. I’m tired of being different. I’m tired of missing people. I’m tired of feeling worthless. I’m tired of feeling empty inside. I’m tired of not being able to just let go. I’m tired of wishing I could start all over. I’m tired of dreaming of a life I will never have. But most of all, I’m just tired of being tired.