don't worry, i know its hurts, you miss them even though they have hurt you, you still love them i a way, life is precious and some people make mistakes that they couldn't control, its never your fault, no matter what you said and did, some people can't live with some of the mistakes they've made and can't stand them any longer. but you are still here, you miss people for what you like about them and their flaws, even for what you hated about them, you still knew they were human and had feelings too, it will be okay, you are loved