I always **** it up I’ve been trying so goddamn hard to be good for him I’ve been changing every part of me for him just so he won’t leave me he doesn’t even have a reason to be mad at me anymore he said it himself he keeps bringing up stuff I changed for him he’s mad at me just cause I said if he didn’t wanna stay on a call with me he could leave in the nicest way possible he took it as me not wanting to be there but I don’t know who I am without him if he leaves me I might actually kill myself I don’t have anybody to talk to anymore I don’t have friends my family still ****ing hates me the only one I could tell was him and now he gets mad or a fight starts whenever I tell him how I feel I’m trying so goddamn hard I hate myself why do I always **** things up I ****ed it up with her I ****ed it up with both of them now I’m ****ing up with him I just want to be good enough for someone to love me I know I’m toxic but I’m actually trying to be better I can’t do it anymore.

Now he’s ****ing ignoring me when I’m asking him if we can talk it out I hate this atp I’ve changed literally everything about me just so that he would love me how I love him I always let him call his friends but the moment I want to play with my little sister because she asked me to its a huge deal Or like when I tell him my problems and he gets mad at me and a fight starts and then gets mad that I tell him things LIKE HE ASKED ME TO?? Or him getting mad at stupid ****ing jokes like saying that one robot from fortnight or caseoh is hot like oh my god it’s a ****ing joke Luke I can’t do this anymore