Avery: What time is it? Shar: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out Shar: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune* Hed: WHO THE **** IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING Shar: It’s 2 am

Avery: We need a distraction. Shar: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises? Hed, whispering: My time has come

Avery, negotiating with Shar: We have Hed. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed Hed: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand dollars? Avery: Hed: MAKE IT ONE MILLION– Avery: HED STOP

*Avery and Shar sitting in jail together* Shar: So who should we call? Avery: I’d call Hed, but I feel safer in jail

Avery, driving Shar and Hed: So how was your day? Shar: We almost got surprise adopted! Avery: What? Hed: We almost got kidnapped. Avery: Oh, okay. Avery: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

Avery: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Shar does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff? Hed: If Shar were to jump off a cliff, they would’ve done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Shar jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff. Avery: You jump off a cliff! Hed: Gladly. Provided Shar did first.

Avery: Shar and I don’t use pet names. Hed: I see. Hey, what do bees make? Avery: Honey? Shar: Yes, dear? Avery: Hed: Don't ever lie to my face again.

Avery: I know you snuck out last night, Shar. Hed: Play dumb! Shar: Who's Shar? Hed: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

Avery: If you had to choose between Shar and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose? Hed: That depends, how much money are we taking about? Shar: Hed! Avery: 63 cents. Hed: I'll take the money. Shar: HED!!!

Avery: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death? Shar: How am I supposed to know? Hed: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult. Shar: *sighs* Shar: You wouldn't be trapped.

Avery, at a restaurant: You guys should get the orange soda, it's amazing. Shar: Okay Waiter: Can I get you guys anything to drink? Avery: Orange soda, please! Shar: I'll have the strawberry soda. Hed: Me too, strawberry soda. Avery:

Avery: Why are you on the floor? Shar: I'm depressed. Shar: Also I was stabbed, can you get Hed, please.

Avery: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me Shar: Okay, but in my defense, Hed bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo. Avery: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

Avery: WHY. why did you give Hed a KNIFE?! Shar: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe. Avery: Now I feel unsafe! Shar: I’m sorry. Shar: ... would you like a knife?