Make me laugh
105 comments
SoulessCarnage[OP]
03.03.2021 00:43
LinkOne, two, three, and four
SoulessCarnage[OP]
03.03.2021 00:44
LinkOk ok stop liking this people jeez
BlueNitro9561
03.03.2021 00:45
Linkn o
Have you ever had a dream that, that, um, that you had, uh, that you had to, you could, you do, you wit, you wa, you could do so, you do you could, you want, you wanted him to do you so much you could do anything?
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hey there buddy chum pal frend brother amego i dont mean to be rude my frendly frend frend buddy chum pal home slice bread slice doug but i gatta worn ya if you take 1 more diddly darn step right there i might have to diddly darn snap ur neck and wowza wouldn't that be a crummy juncture do u want that do u wish upon yourself to come in to physical experience with a crummy juncture because buddy pal frend chummy chum frend tat will be da end for u
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/768262087746125849/816307313274257469/Screenshot_2021-03-02-18-52-22-50.png?width=467&height=427
In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I die?” she asks.
God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.”
With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She looks great! The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an ambulance and killed. Up in heaven, she sees God. “You said I had 30 more years to live,” she complains.
“That’s true,” says God.
“So what happened?” she asks.
God shrugs. “I didn’t recognize you.”
Old people would poke at me during weddings and say "you're next!", so I did the same thing to them at funerals.
i dont want to make you laugh because that would make you put the number 4 and i dont like that number