been forever since i cut myself but tonight i lost it

everything is going wrong

i haven't felt so worthless in forever

thought the meds were supposed to fix that

panic attacks are just getting more frequent, i cant do it. I had to leave my college class because i lost it in the middle of class im gonna lose my ****ing scholarship

literally destined to fail i can't wait any ****ing longer

everything sends me spiraling downwards

i would end it all tonight but my gun isn't loaded, no pills, guess i could try hanging myself or just bashing my head against a wall

i dont want it to hurt though

guess that makes me a coward

everything hurts

and im alone

going to sleep, hurts too much to be awake

goodnight, i hope i dont ****ing wake up