ive never felt so annoyed at myself, its so dumb i literally have nothing to be mad about besides hating how i look?? i feel that half of the reason why most people irl dont like me is because of how i look being honest here, im a poc, a little chubby, and i have a dimple on my right side when i smile. usually, those can go into someone pretty, right? but for me it just kinda makes me strnage i remember hating myself in 2nd grade because i didnt look like the rest of the kids, i thought i "wasnt normal"

ive learned to care about my looks and my caretaker thought that was a good thing, it is but it just made me more self consious.

its also the fact that the first relationship i went into was with a literal pedo, sexist, racist and drug animal abuser at 16

second one was with as s-x abuser and rapist, third was with some guy i met on the internet who got arrested for (aledged) s-x trafficing

forth is the most recent, with a girl who would physically, mentally and emotionally abuse me until i felt worthless i feel like a magnet for horrible people like wtf

i halfy want to give up on finding a partner, but i know thats gonna kick me in the arse if i do so ill wait maybe in the sea of horrible people i bring close to me, someone good will come, im just hoping i just dont think i can handle many more scars

yeah, i was a dumb kid when i was talking to the majority of them, ive grown and matured now, only good thing that came out of those was me being able to spot red flags easily! so yaaay but also naay... but ty for caring

yea its soda, but close friends call my fizz (sometimes) :3 ty!