Idk im doing alot better than when it happened like I don't feel sick anymore but it still messes with my head

I genuinely believed they cared and I feel like an idiot saying that they don't but im just so confused and I know for a fact I can never say anything to them about it because its technically all my fault. I just wanted a break, was that too hard to ask?

I didnt word that correctly

Will probably get in trouble for vagueposting later on but this is the only outlet in comfortable with atm. Thats not a good excuse but ill accept whatever happens