rant abt my dad
by:
MaxiTheNerd 
886
886
10.12.2023
17 comments
MaxiTheNerd[OP]
10.12.2023 03:12
Linkdad Im so tired of you I try to think youre changing I try. I try so hard. I try so hard to be the perfect "daughter" for you. I try to stay in line, never make mistakes, do everything you say, pretend to always be happy. I work so hard. And the one time I try to stand up for myself ? Its seems like ALL ****ING 14 YEARS OF MY LIFE IVE BEEN TRYING HAVE BEEN REDUCED TO NOTHING. nothing I do is ****ing good enough. Nothing. "I love you" quit the bullshit. If you loved me, maybe you'd try to stop drinking! Maybe you would try to UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL YOU PUT ME THROUGH. maybe, just maybe, you would you change. And I thought you would. You didn't change SHIT because I KNEW THIS WOULD ****UNG HAPPEN. IM ****ING SICK KF YOU. AND I HATE MYSEKF FOR IT. I HATE MYSELF BECAUSE YOU TAUGHT ME TO HATE WHO I AM. YOU NEVER GAVE TWO SHITS AND I KNOW IT. Every weekend I went over your house, I cried. I cried and cried because you screamed at me . you screamed at me for not turning off the light. Not closing the blinds. -
MaxiTheNerd[OP]
10.12.2023 03:13
LinkYou made me feel like the shittiest kid ever. You made me feel like a PROBLEM. I AM A PROBLEM AND I WILL ALWAYS BE THE ****ING PROBLEM. YOU DINT EVEN KNOW MY FAVORITE SHOW YOU DONT KNOW MY FAVORITE BAND YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME BECAUSE IF IM TOO ****ING SCARED TO TELL YOU ANYTHINH
MaxiTheNerd[OP]
10.12.2023 03:15
Linkim sorry that YOU have mental issues and drink yourself to death and scream at your kids because you're a sad, sad man. Okay? I try to be sympathetic. I try.
MaxiTheNerd[OP]
10.12.2023 03:17
LinkI have tried my whole life just to be the daughter you wanted. You say you care about my mental health. and THE ONE ****ING TIME I OPEN UP TO YOJ ABOUT IT, YOU SAY THE WORLD DOESNT REVOLVE AROUND ME?? EXCUSE ME??? DO YOU THINK IM SELFISH? SELFISH FOR ALL THE SHIT I DID FOR YOU??
MaxiTheNerd[OP]
10.12.2023 03:18
LinkI did everything for you, really I did I tried so hard I tried to make myself perfect just for you I tried
MaxiTheNerd[OP]
10.12.2023 03:20
LinkYou know, on the off chance you do love me, you dont try to make it seem that way. You can say you love me say you care but its hard to believe you when you've hurt me so bad I can barely be a person anymore
MaxiTheNerd[OP]
10.12.2023 03:22
LinkI cant do anything without apologizing because I feel so bad about everything I do even if its my best I feel its not good enough for anyone and I have to apologize
MaxiTheNerd[OP]
10.12.2023 03:22
LinkAnd you yell at me for apologizing too much
MaxiTheNerd[OP]
10.12.2023 03:23
Linkyou see how the cycle repeats?
MaxiTheNerd[OP]
10.12.2023 03:25
LinkBut that's ok
MaxiTheNerd[OP]
10.12.2023 03:25
LinkIt will just keep repeating and repeating and repeating and I will keep hurting myself to try to make you happy
@MaxiTheNerd's dad.
you think you can get away with this shit? you think you can yell at the person you're supposed to love most because "ohohhhhh im saad and i driink but i loovoe you all the saasme!!!!"? instead of actually getting help and becoming a better person than the shitty insane man you are you decide to use her as a scapegoat for honestly, every time she will ****ING BREATHE. no wonder mum left you. no wonder she never rose from her misery and changed and changed and changed EVERY SINGLE ****ING TIME only for YOU to be the same person.
she your servant?
she your maid?
your pet?
you're ****ing homophobic like the rest of the millenial parents huh?
frankly, you don't even deserve the title of "i'm such a caring dad." and then you ****ing moan about how great you are.
"she's so SAAD when i come around!!! i ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH!!!" yada yada yada victimizing.
and then you decide to lash out the second she stops being your servant and is a normal person.
you gonna fight? you gonna traumadum
you gonna traumadump on us? you're gonna assume you're better than eveery other shitty milennial right? you're gonna have a tragic life story for us and expect us to hug you and accept you.
you will never hurt her and she will never need you. she did, yet you neglected her and chose to be like that to your whole family. she never deserves to hear your voice. she never deserves to see that blaring death stare of yours when she forgot ONE THING from her life.
Kk now time for the acceptable person who actually deserves for people to pay attention to
i'm sorry those scars will never heal no matter how many good things and people surround you.
i'm sorry you have to selfhrm (if you do). you know what? don't ****ing apologize. there will always be people looking out to harass you, abuse you, or whatever way they hurt you. they aint gonna push you away. if they do thats all on them. when you finally get the shit out of there don't just keep texting him like that. keep to yourself. he doesn't deserve your life. open up to everyone, do whatever you can. you haven't earned anything from your years of labor but if you cut that labor you still earn respect. you deserve respect for being the person you are. you've reached out for help. you didn't deserve every tear you've shed and you deserve to be seen. i'm sorry it's even your siblings too. we're all going to have shitty parents. take all your time to heal.
you need to get help, whether you have permission of your parents or not. i hope your mom isn't the same person. you've cared about your loved ones and i'm proud of that. i'm sorry he drinks so much. i'm sorry if nothing he did was illegal and you're powerless.
he will never be proud if you're making him happy or not. i know he is always controlling you but have your freedom if you can.
wishing you luck.
thank you, this actually means a lot, thank you, im going to be getting a therapist sometime i think and im going to talk to my guidance conselor at my school on monday