Also my therapist at the time encouraged me to keep cutting at because it was the only thing helping me cope with stuff Then again she never tried to show me other ways to cope with the depresso in my Expresso. The time I made myself scared: That day I had been in wood working and slipped one of the blades they had in there for a box cutter looking tool. The day passed and night fell, I had been having a really rough day. And alas I had given my original self harm knife to my gf, the tip of the blade was dulled so it was perfect, especially considering the pressure I'd put behind it when I'd slice. I went to go use this newer blade that was sharp enough to shave with, and I sliced my hip open, like I always did, but this time it was extremely sharp compared to what I was used to, it cut a good ⅛ of an inch deep, it started gushing blood, and I hastily grabbed the black towel I had next to me, trembling as I applied pressure to get it to stop. After a minute I took the towel off, looking at the dry and no

longer bleeding cut, I'll be honest I played around a little bit, it was a learning experience for me. I never went that deep again.

Really weird time that I was feeling suicidal: This was before I lost my old self harm knife. I had taken the knife and cut my arm up kinda deep, I then went to cut off circulation to my arm to make it less painful to cut deeper, this actually increased blood flow and it started bleeding more, I got curious, grabbing a tube and applying suction to my cuts, collecting the blood, and adding some water to it to keep it from coagulating, I ended up not going any deeper, and I cleaned myself up a bit and went to bed. The next day at school I grabbed the tube of blood/water and put it in the freezer, and I took it to school with me, I got called to the counselor's office and they talked to me about the self harm, I also showed them the tube of blood, and asked if that was bad to have, AND THEY TOLD ME "I don't think it goes against any school rules" I always find that part funny honestly.

Anyways I can't remember any other times I did dumb stuff while not mentally sound of mind at the moment haha.

These are just the semi amusi g to me ones.

Amusing*

Oh wait I know I used to use plastic school butter knifes, then can surprisingly cut skin really well I still wonder why they let middle schoolers have them, like wtf? Uhhh I broke something made of glass on accident once and then ended up using it for self harm

No other schools in my area have plastic butter knives. Just the middle school.