When I was a kid I used to think that pork chops and karate chops Were the same thing I thought they were both pork chops And because my grandmother thought it was cute And because they were my favourite She let me keep doing it Not really a big deal One day Before I realized fat kids are not designed to climb trees I fell out of a tree And bruised the right side of my body I didn't want to tell my grandmother about it Because I was afraid I'd get in trouble For playing somewhere that I shouldn't have been A few days later the gym teacher noticed the bruise And I got sent to the principal's office From there I was sent to another small room With a really nice lady Who asked me all kinds of questions About my life at home I saw no reason to lie As far as I was concerned Life was pretty good I told her “whenever I'm sad My grandmother gives me karate chops” This led to a full scale investigation And I was removed from the house for three days Until they finally decided to