[Open. Int. Mysterious Planet]

(The Glitch Productions and show's title cards are shown. After that, the main show begins. Drum roll, please...)

"Nothing starts until you take action. If you've got time to worry, run!"

Okay. This shouldn't take too long. Most Gems come around pretty quickly when I invite them to Little Homeschool in person.

Caine: Welcome to the Amazing Digital Circus! My name is Caine! I'm your ringmaster, and I'm here to show you the most jaw-dropping, heart stopping, mind-bending paraphernalia you've ever laid your eyes upon! Isn't that right, Bubble?

"It's no use! TAKE THIS!"

What a gorgeous planet.

Bubble: That's right, Caine! I can't wait to see what you've got cooking up for today.

"I'll release you from the chains of your past."

(Steven and Lapis encounter a mysterious flower bud creature.)

Caine: Well, let's not waste any time! Let's get right into the show!

"I will protect the future!"

Woah.

(The cast is introduced via song.)

"The present day... The here and now that you've stolen... Time to take it back!"

(Steven proceeds to touch it, which makes the bud retreat into a bush with other buds. Steven approaches the buds again and pets one.)

♪♪ Gangle and Zooble and Kinger too ♪♪

"I determine my own destiny."

It's okay, little guy. *gets crawled on* Hahaha *laughs more*

♪♪ Ragatha and Jax and Kaufmo* ♪♪ (WOO HOO!)

"If the world chooses to become my enemy... I will fight like I always have."

Wow, Steven. It took you a whole five seconds to make a new friend. You're getting rusty. *approaches* You know, I never used to notice creatures like this. Before Earth and you, I used to terraform planets without thinking twice. I wonder what I destroyed. *bud creature opens* Life like this is so precious.

♪♪ Day after day after- day after- day after day we fly ♪♪

"The 'I' of now absorbed your power through your shadow in the past. What may have worked 10 years ago, no longer does!"

(The bud creatures all open up, but then close as something passes through the air.)

♪♪ Past the moon and the sun and we don't know why! ♪♪

Uh, Steven.

(*Disclaimer: Kaufmo the Clown did not show up today.)

(They walk to an edge to see what's going on.)

(A new character suddenly poofs in.)

Ah. So the rumors are true.

Pomni: W-w-wait? Huh, where am-?

You think they didn't get your message that we're not destroying planets anymore?

(Freaked out by all the zaniness going on around her, she tries to reach for an exit door, only for the door to vanish into thin air. She falls back as she avoids getting squished by a potted flower which gets stuck halfway through the ground. While backing up, she bumps into some of the cast, throwing the song off and breaking Gangle's comedy mask)

I'm sure they did. Everyone did. But, I'll get them to stop.

Jax: Caine, is this one of your NPCs or is this a new sucker? 'Cause if it's a new character, we're gonna have to redo this whole theme song.

This might be harder than you think.

Zooble: I'm not doing that again.

(A blue figure flys by.)

Caine: My my, it appears a new human has entered this realm!

There they are.

Pomni: (Trying to take her headset off) How do I... take this... headset off?

(In the distance is "Nice" Lapis and "Mean" Lapis, who are manipulating the water to slice up a large rock. This terrifies the flower bud creatures into hiding.)

Jax: Just keep grabbing at it. That worked for all of us.

Hey! Stop!

(She tries, but almost pulls her eye out.)

(The Lapides decide to throw a tidal wave at Steven and Lapis, the former guarding against it successfully.)

(She stops grabbing, her head boings back into shape.)

Wait a minute. That's Steven Universe!

Pomni: ...What's going on? I-I-I put on some weird headset and now I'm here? Who are you people? Why can't I take it off? Where am I?!

He's smaller than I thought.

Ragatha: Let's just try to calm down. (She walks over to the shivering jester.) Everything's gonna be okay, new stuff. We've all been through this. You just need to get your head to-

(Both float down to the edge.)

Pomni: What the (BOING!) is going on?! ...What-?

Well, what do you think? We're almost done with this world.

Caine: Now, now, now, my dear, we can't have any of that foul language around here. The Amazing Digital Circus is a place to be enjoyed by all ages. You, my friend, stumbled into an incredible world of wonders where anything can happen! Except for swearing.

And who's this? We don't need the extra help.

(And lo and behold, no matter how much profanity she blurts out, they just get replaced by wacky sound effects.)

You must have heard about our exemplary work. That's why you're here, I presume.

teve nivers oni h edgeho h mazin igita ircu

What the hell has cubic done here?