i want to say sorry for everything like. always venting and crying over things and then feelin awful abiut it afterwards. like i feel really really bad. i dont want to apologize bevause i feel like im being really annoying but im really sorry. and im sorry to the people who i told to kts, i wasnt thinking straight and im sorry. even though you were making fun of me while i was having a hard time i want to still say sorry because i should have handled that better. im sorry if ive ever been a jerk or anything like that and im sorry im always so sad. i overthink too much and my depression has been so bad and theres nothing i can do about it because no therapists are open for me to go to, they are too busy. i finally got to see my doctor the other day but it was pretty useless and boring so i didnt get any help and frankly it made everything worse becaude now my mom takes away my phone every night at 8 but i guess she just. forgot aboht my kindle? because she hasnt noticed yet and it is a little funny but-

-im just hoping she wont find out because talking to my friends is my coping mechanism and its what makes me happy, and i dont have any friends at school except for one, but im usually a second option for her but thats okay, shes very nice and were cool

i dont know, life has just gotten so much worse but so much better since august. its like a rollercoaster but maybe ill figure it out someday. im trying to do better and trying to get help so we will see where that goes!!

thankyou sk much ahhgg :'D...,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,,.,,, dot dot dot..,.,.,,. thank yoh. a ton. thankyou that means like a lot... thankyou