only for a bit sadly ughhh i enter again in two or three weeks i think

ill be okay because with vacations my mind decided it was the perfect time to obsess again with paper mario help me

it comes back every year since 2021 and im fully conviced its my whatsapp backgroung fault because i have a paper mario one but its VERY subtle like its a very abstract drawing of the origami king bosses when you take a quick look at it its just a bunch of colors and even worse considering its covered by the messages and all of whatsapp things, but my mind its consuming paper mario anyway without me noticing and its like a mario-meter where theres a point i have looked at that backgroung without paying attention to it but it has been so long that the mario-meter in my brain fills and my paper mario obsession returns and then simply leaves when the mario-meter gets empty again in a month or sowmthing

im talking about stationery, gosh im too far to be salvated i think but in my defense they all have incredible personalities and one is a dog

wanna me ramble about them or the night is too old (im sorry)

holy macaroni

First... the dogs name is Fanges fastener, aka stapler Now there are 6 of these stationery bosses starting with THE missile maestro whos real name is Jean Pierre colored pencils the 12th (that gives away what thing is it), also is confirmed to be a man because of the name and because in the battle one of the toads in audience says "He needs to sharpen his skills" amazing i know right? and as his tittle says, he tries to attack mario using missiles, and the missiles are the colors inside his lid and its a shame hes stuck being some sort of tutorial boss, and his personality is basically "yeah im an artist I know about art, you dont know about art, I DO" and crazy about missiles.

THE second is the elastic entretainer, rubber band!!111! Sadly theres not dialogue confirming what might be, but during the boss introduction rubber band sings and its the voice of a woman so that gives it away (like the same way colores pencils are named jean pierre and you know its a man even before the battle starts), shes "the star of the show" and she has a phrase that kills me in the spanish dialogue because i played the game in spanish which is her calling the toads "panda de anafalbetos" ajksnc the translation in english is not as funny as that sadly and shes actually only ONE rubber band covered in several other rubber bands, also i forgot to mention but same with colored pencils, he is THE LID, not the pencils.

Third third my favorite of them all, the disco devil aka HOLE PUNCH, this is the second and last fully confirmed to be a man, the rest of the bosses sadly dont have anything that give away what they are, only colored pencils and hole punch have it. He hole punched the faces of a bunch of toads which irl would be horrifying, he basically turned the toads into zombies, and also hes a fan of dancing and disco thats literally how he introduces himself before the battle, with a dance party with mario and the toads but he interrupts them to take over the dance floor and also he hole punches marios face as well, AND HE ALSO HOLE PUNCHED THE SUN to put its light inside a disco ball ,thats the whole plot of that chapter of the game, that they are in a desert but its very cold because the sun is missing, well... hole punch did it, also he has the best introduction to his battle and best battle ost in the game

Number 4 is the shifty sticker, tape, new york accent which i only know because of youtube videos, sadly in spanish he speaks normally, and basically his entire personallity is like a mafia member, VERY TWO PHRASES TEDIOUS FIGHT, starts with tape inside the tape holder thing and i love its implied it ot be some sort of motorcycle and tape is, well, riding it like those gangs, this gets even more obvious on phrase 2 where you destroy the tape holder and now its only tape so he puts these tape cutters thing with the sharp edges and its implied is one of those metal things you put in your hand like rings to punch people, and the shape of the end of its tape resembles a pompadour, and one of his attacks he literally makes motorcycle noises

Number five is... dual blades duelist, SCISSORS, number one enemy of paper and hes technically the leader of all of these office supplies jkashackjb hes HORRIFIC for two reasons, one because scissors and two because hes actually insane, if that was irl it would be super scary because scissors did his own small army of cutout people, created a monster amalmagation using peoples faces and sticking them together (he cut all these people and then used the faces for the monster) and hes fully aware hes a scissor in a paper people world, i see scissor as some sort of knight necromancer? of that makes sense? because during his fight he actaully puts a lid first so things are more fair because hes conviced he will anihilate mario in a second without a little balancing and the whole dual bladed duelist thing well its like a knight, and necroamncer because he basically "brought to life" those paper cutouts enemies, and killed all those paper people to later use only their faces on his monster

HELP you are reading them i still need to explain the dog

forgot to say theres a toad dialogue in tape fight where the toad compares rubber band with tape and im going crazy like toad what are you implying

LAST one is the fanged fastener, STAPLER, aka dog, thats it, thats its whole thing, being the main boss guard dog, it doesnt even have dialogue it doesnt speak it only barks, the game devs went fully into the dog thing, it bites mario with the staples of course and half the toad dialogue in the battle is dog related. The end of the fight is horrific because its mario bending the stapler and you know how a stapler opens so you can refill it, well mario breaks that point so it breaks, if that was irl it would be the equal of breaking the jaw of a dog

alright im done

i mean there are other bosses but they are not office supplies so who cares pffff

thanks for coming to my ted talk, questions are allowed, the exit is at the far left door and theres a table with free water and snacks outside

In middle school people used to look under the stalls at my shoes and start calling my name like bruh im trying pee in peace omg✌️😭