i think a lot about my past and all of the wonderful people i've known in my time. i regret almost everything i've done in the past. i wish i had a second chance to go back and tell them that i'm sorry and make up for everything i've done and said somehow. i was such a terrible person for so long and i really hurt some absolutely lovely people that simply didn't deserve it. i hope they're doing okay. i'm glad the friends i have have stuck around with me for as long as they have. i don't deserve them but i wouldn't be alive without them and i wouldn't be me without them. i probably would've spiralled into an even worse person if it weren't for all of them. maybe i reminisce too much. ill probably use flipanim as an outlet to actually speak my mind since i'm too embarrassed to do it anywhere i'm known. but i still like talking to myself. so maybe there will be more rambling in the future, who knows