Im shaking from anxiety now and whenever an ad comes on i get really upset because its not my calming happy music and i tru nor to cry agaij i think im oversitmulayed but im bot sure

Its not as bad as it gets sometimes cuz i can still function and type as you can see but sometimes it gets so bad that whenever someone touches me or brushes upnagainst me or moves in a certain way i break down but i try to cry without anyone noticing

I did not make any valentines presents for my friends for school tomorrow because i am very exhausted i did not nap today

I hope nobody gets me anything so i dont have to feel really guilty cuz usually my friends dont get me stuff but idk if theyll give me something this year but i wish i had something to give them i wad going to bake some sugar cookies and try to maybe frost hearts on them but ive been so tired because i was being so obnoxious today after my adhd meds wore off

Tomorrow is the last day before february break and i think i have 2 quizes and i. Have to finish my math quiz that im totally flunking why is the future is so yesterday playing why is this on my comofrt playlist but i loge this song so its ok

I think vox would be friends with steve cobs

Today i was talking with.my step sister about how people think that vivziepop is racist cuz they made niffty sing a stereotypical japanese anime song thing but i think the voice actor kimiko glenn actually came forward with the idea so i dont think it was with malicious intent plus i love the song its very fun

I love katydids when they made those gunshot noises i dont jnow how id be able to sleep witj those as a pet but theyre just so adorable

Hoping for a good day tomorrow

Katydids make me happy i may print out pictures of mt favorire invertebrates and laminate them and bring them with me everywhere so i can look at them when im sad or scared

Sometimes i can barely speak and i have to force everyrhing out of my mouth so i dont reallt tend to go nonverbal but it is extremely difficult for me to speak at times and i wish i had those cards that said what i need but i think people will baby me so i never said anything even though ive been needing something like this for a very long tiem

What i mean by difficult to talk is like it makes me get even more anxious and i stutter a lot and my voice is quiet with short answers and im oj the verge of tears a lot but i cwnt communicate my emotions snd thoughts when im overwhelmed so i just shut down but then i remember if i want to get better i need to talk qnd sometimes it hurts to talk but i hage to or i will not get what i need im not sure what this is called im not sure if 5his has anything to do with autisn but if i had thosr cards that said the things i needed and wanted on them my life would be so mufh less stressful

I literally cant even ask for help sometimes because my teachers dont remember my accommodations and always ask me questions like the sentence "i need to go to the office" means i need to leave immediately to regulate my emotions before i freak out but theyre just like "uh why do you need to go to the office can u wait till im done talking" like actually no i cant but ill just nod and try not to start cryjng

Even the nurses dont remember my ****ing accommodations this school is atrocious to people who dont have an actual IEP like I DONT HAVE TO WRITE A PASS TO THE NURSES OFFICE AND IVE SAID THIS A MILLION TIMES EHICH TOOK ME SO MUCH COURAGE TO EVEN TELL YOU AND U JUST LOOK AT ME LIKE I KILLED UR FAMILY CUZ I DIDNT WRITE A PASS theyre lucky im kinda good at holding back tears at school cuz id be bawling normally. It LITERALLY SAYS IT . IN PRINT. ALL MY ACCOMMODATIONS. Literally nobody listens to them. And thats actually illegal. My old school did this too and my mom got people fired because they treated me so horribly im cruing😭😭😭😭

I remember when i was being bullied in middle school and nobody did shit about it and then they wondered why i wanted to kill myself and i had to get sent home qnd a police officer wws sent to the guidance office and asking me questions and i was like ok what the hell 💔

And they fpund me writing suicudal messages on pixilart LMOAOAOXBXBHS and i would ask if i was being abused snd explain how my dad treated me cuz i didnt know if it was abuse or not and that got flagged by CPS but as soon as CPS came over my ass stayed dead quiet because i didnt want my dad to disown me and call me a terrible daughter cuz i got him in trouble with CPS and i was like yeah everything is good at my dads house sorry

Bro i would write some crazy shit on pixilart my accounts are like ancient relics of the past

I remember during quarantine id hide in a blanket fort drawing pixilart art while drinking propel and eating puffy cheetos that was the calm before the storm

There was like this object show on pixilart but it was a comic mot a show and they were all battling to win color and im pretty sure it was called color and i was super invested in it id draw the characyers all the time i think it ended but i cant remember who got color or if it happened it was a cool story from what i remember and my favorite character was like overdue tax form i think thats what it was i cant remember

Middle school was interesting and there were some fun aspects not going to lie but also a lot of terrible things happened

We were ALL moving to flowcabulary in 6th grade bro esp the euphrates river one